My four years there had been very happy. I was the kind of a boy who
gets the most out of a public school. I loved cricket and football and
was reasonably good at them. I was in the first XV and my last summer
headed the batting averages. My father had lit in me a love of poetry
and an interest in history and the classics. More often than not I went
into a class-room looking forward to the hour that lay ahead. I enjoyed
the whole competitive drama of school life--the cups and caps and form
promotions. As I marched as a cadet over Ashridge Park I remembered that
a year ago I had been bicycling down to the football field for a punt
about on Upper. As I listened to a lecture on the establishment of an
infantry brigade, I thought of the sixth form sitting under that fine
scholar and Wordsworthian Nowell Smith to a discussion of Victorian
poetry. In the evenings on my way to night operations, passing
Berkhamsted School and looking at the lighted windows, I would think,
"At Sherborne now they are sitting round the games study fire waiting
for the bell to ring for hall". Day by day, hour by hour, I pictured
myself back at school.
I was in a nostalgic mood, but I was also in a rebellious mood.
Intensely though I had enjoyed my four years at Sherborne, I had been in
constant conflict with authority. That conflict, so it seemed to me, had
been in the main caused and determined by authority's inability or
refusal to recognise the true nature of school life. The Public School
system was venerated as a pillar of the British Empire and out of that
veneration had grown a myth of the ideal Public School boy--Kipling's
Brushwood Boy. In no sense had I incarnated such a myth and it had been
responsible, I felt, for half my troubles. I wanted to expose it. Those
moods of nostalgia and rebellion fused finally in an imperious need to
relive my school days on paper, to put it all down, term by term,
exactly as it had been, to explain, interpret, justify my point of view.
I wrote the book in six and a half weeks, getting up at half past four
every morning and returning to my manuscript at night after the day's
parades. I posted it, section by section, to my father who corrected the
spelling and punctuation, interjected an occasional phrase and sent it
to be typed. I never revised it. As the manuscript shows, it was printed
as it was written, paragraph by paragraph.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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