I thank God continually that it hath been my lot in life to found an
empire in my heart--no cramped and wizened borough wherein one jealous
mistress hath exercised her petty tyranny, but an expansive and
ever-widening continent divided and subdivided into dominions,
jurisdictions, caliphates, chiefdoms, seneschalships, and prefectures,
wherein tetrarchs, burgraves, maharajahs, palatines, seigniors,
caziques, nabobs, emirs, nizams, and nawabs hold sway, each over his
special and particular realm, and all bound together in harmonious
cooperation by the conciliating spirit of polybibliophily!
Let me not be misunderstood; for I am not a woman-hater. I do not
regret the acquaintances--nay, the friendships--I have formed with
individuals of the other sex. As a philosopher it has behooved me to
study womankind, else I should not have appreciated the worth of these
other better loves. Moreover, I take pleasure in my age in associating
this precious volume or that with one woman or another whose friendship
came into my life at the time when I was reading and loved that book.
The other day I found my nephew William swinging in the hammock on the
porch with his girl friend Celia; I saw that the young people were
reading Ovid. "My children," said I, "count this day a happy one. In
the years of after life neither of you will speak or think of Ovid and
his tender verses without recalling at the same moment how of a
gracious afternoon in distant time you sat side by side contemplating
the ineffably precious promises of maturity and love."
I am not sure that I do not approve that article in Judge Methuen's
creed which insists that in this life of ours woman serves a
probationary period for sins of omission or of commission in a previous
existence, and that woman's next step upward toward the final eternity
of bliss is a period of longer or of shorter duration, in which her
soul enters into a book to be petted, fondled, beloved and cherished by
some good man--like the Judge, or like myself, for that matter.
This theory is not an unpleasant one; I regard it as much more
acceptable than those so-called scientific demonstrations which would
make us suppose that we are descended from tree-climbing and bug-eating
simians. However, it is far from my purpose to enter upon any argument
of these questions at this time, for Judge Methuen himself is going to
write a book upon the subject, and the edition is to be limited to two
numbered and signed copies upon Japanese vellum, of which I am to have
one and the Judge the other.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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