Forever: until tomorrow. Never: until tomorrow. Yes: no. No: yes. Keepsake: any worthless piece of property. Absence: a heart stimulant. Alone: (for one) misery. Alone: (for two) joy. X X X: kisses. o o o: kisses. THE SPELLING LESSON When Venus said: “Spell _no_ for me,” “N-O,” Dan Cupid wrote with glee, And smiled at his success; “Ah, child,” said Venus, laughing low, “We women do not spell it so, We spell it Y-E-S.” LOVE IN ARCADY What to us is time or space, Hours of absence, days of grace; As we rule and reign alone In a kingdom of our own? Love like ours is up to date, Sneers at fortune, conquers Fate; Makes the loves of early times Look like three bright, shiny dimes. Couldn’t we give cards and spades To historic lovers’ shades! Easily our love can beat That of Faust and Marguerite. Heloise and Abelard Stooped to tricks that we’d discard; Orpheus and Eurydice Only knew a simple way; Launcelot and Guinevere Wondering would our love-songs hear, And a few things we might show Juliet and Romeo. Hero we’d give pointers to, Teach Leander how to woo. I could coach Semiramis, Trojan Helen teach to kiss. You’d teach Dante and Petrarch, Distance Cleopatra’s Mark. Oh, the loves of bygone days Were not up to modern ways! INSENSIBILITY They tell me that the day is fair, With blossoms springing everywhere; I do not know, I cannot say, For thou, my love, art far away. They tell me that the birds sing sweet, That brooklets ripple at my feet; I do not know, I cannot hear, For thou, my love, art nowhere near. They tell me that the sky is blue, The hills take on a purple hue; I do not know, I cannot see, For thou, my love, art not with me. BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH OF CUPID Ever so many years ago, When Cupid was quite young, you know, There were no schools at all, and so, Athirst for information, Each day the funny little chap Would climb up in Dame Venus’ lap, And study from a book or map To get his education. He traced in his Geography The Primrose Path to Arcady; He bounded Agapemone, And Flowery Fields Elysian. Then, his Arithmetic begun, He learned that one and one make one, That one from two leaves simply none, And Love abhors division. From Botany he learned to know The value of the mistletoe, And why a rose is cherished so, Even when it is faded. Rhetoric taught him how to say Fair speeches in a pretty way; And if a lass should murmur “Nay,” How she must be persuaded.