When we mounted the last flight of stairs and entered the attic study we
seemed to leave Jane behind. Carlyle himself met us on the threshold of
this refuge, fondly planned with dreams of quiet in which he could work
unmolested. As a matter of fact, it did not repay him for the
discomforts endured whilst it was being built. "My room," he writes, "is
irremediably somewhat of a failure, and 'quiet' is far off me yet."
The afternoon was beginning to draw in and a little fire glowed in the
old-fashioned grate. Perhaps that was why the attic study seemed the
most cheerful room in the house. It might not be "sound"-proof, but, at
least, the wail of the north-east wind, as it careered round the old
walls, was lost here, and through the ground glass window came a warm
light which suggested a fragment of sunset somewhere out in the
stormdriven sky. The apartment had a hermit-like atmosphere, although
there could have been but little peace for the man who travailed as
Carlyle did over his gigantic tasks. One recalls to mind such words as
"I was in the throes of the French Revolution at this time, heavy laden
in many ways and gloomy of mind...." "I, in dismal continual wrestle
with 'Friedrich,' the inexcusable book, the second of my twelve years
'wrestle' in that element." ... "Hades was not more laborious than that
book, too, now was to me."
What must it have been to one, who so travailed in the birth of those
children of his brain, to lose as he did, through the "miserablest
accident" of his whole life, the first volume of the French Revolution?
And surely never man behaved so chivalrously to the friend who was the
innocent cause of the disaster as did Carlyle to the unfortunate Mill.
Poor John Stuart Mill! One imagines with a shudder his feelings when,
with the black consciousness of the awful news he had to impart, he
stood on the doorstep of No. 5 Cheyne Row waiting admittance! A visit to
the dentist would, in contrast, have been an occasion of happiness. The
thought of what that wretched man must have suffered diverts my mind
from the contemplation of the cruel blow to the victim. The picture of
Mill as, after having made his terrible disclosure, "he sat three hours
trying to talk of other subjects," passes the bounds of tragedy and
almost verges on the ludicrous. How he must have longed to go! and how
Mr. and Mrs. Carlyle must have ached to see the back of him!
Dusk was gathering on the stairs and in the grey empty rooms as we left
the attic, and we had to go carefully round the corners. Was it the
whisper of a silken gown, or the swish of the wind through the branches
of the bare trees in the little garden which accompanied us? Who can
tell? Who _wants_ to tell? Leave us some room for speculation--some peg
on which to hang our hopes of things beyond which we can see and handle.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account