To all this she quietly submitted. He was to meet her at the ball
at Carrick-on-Shannon, and then tell her what his definite plan of
carrying her off would be; but he added that the ball night would be
the last she would spend in the country, for that they would leave
the next evening.
About five o'clock Ussher took his leave; she begged of him to come
and see her the next day--every day till they went; but this he
refused; she said that unless she saw him every day to comfort her,
she would not be able to keep up her strength--that she was sure she
would fall ill. It was now Friday, and she was to go to Mrs. McKeon's
on Monday; on Tuesday he said he would call on her there; the races
and ball were to be on the Tuesday week. In vain she asked him
how she was to bear the long days till she saw him again; Ussher
had no true sympathy for such feelings as were racking Feemy's
heart and brain; he merely bid her keep up her spirits, and not be
foolish;--that he would see her on Tuesday, and that after Tuesday
week she would have nothing more to make her unhappy. And then,
kissing her, he went away,--and as we have seen, Thady met him in the
avenue, so satisfied in appearance, so contented, so triumphant, that
he was able to forget the words which had been applied to him on the
previous evening, and to nod to Feemy's brother with as pleasant an
air as though there were no grounds for ill-feeling between them.
Poor Feemy! those vain words that "after Tuesday week she would have
nothing more to make her unhappy," sounded strangely in her ears.
Nothing more to make her unhappy! Could she have anything more, then
or ever, to make her happy? Could she ever be happy again? All that
had happened during the last few days passed through her mind, and
added to her torment. How indignant had she been when her brother had
hinted to her that Ussher did not intend honestly by her; into what
a passion had she flown with Father John, when he had cautioned her
that she should be circumspect in her conduct with her lover; what
an insult she had felt it when Mary Brady alluded to the chance of
Ussher's deserting her! And now so soon after all this--but a few
hours after this strong feeling--after the indignation she had then
shown, she had herself submitted to worse than they had even dared to
suspect; she had herself agreed to leave her father's house as the
mistress of the man, of whom she had then confidently boasted as
her future husband! And it was not only for her own degradation,
dreadful as that was, that she grieved, but Ussher himself--he of
whom she had felt so fond--whom she had so loved--was this his
truth, his love?--was this the protection he had sworn to give her
against her father's folly, and her brother's violence?--and, as
he had basely added, against Father John's bigotry? Was this the
protection--roughly to swear he'd leave her, desert her for ever,
unless she agreed to give up her family, her home, her principles,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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