The Magic Pudding: Being the Adventures of Bunyip Bluegum and His Friends Bill Barnacle & Sam SawnoffLindsay, Norman
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The Magic Pudding: Being the Adventures of Bunyip Bluegum and His Friends Bill Barnacle & Sam Sawnoff
Lindsay, Norman
Animals -- Juvenile fiction; Australia -- Juvenile fiction; Fantasy literature; Humorous stories; Puddings -- Juvenile fiction
They left Henderson to his horticulturing and walked on till they
met a Parrot who was a Swagman, or a Swagman who was a Parrot. He
must have been one or the other, if not both, for he had a bag and
a swag, and a beak and a billy, and a thundering bad temper into
the bargain, for the moment Bill asked him if he had met a singed
possum he shouted back--
" Me eat a singed possum! I wouldn't eat a possum if he was
singed, roasted, boiled, or fried."
" Not ett--met," shouted Bill. "I said, met a singed possum."
"Why can't yer speak plainly, then," said the Parrot. "Have you
got a fill of tobacco on yer?"
He took out his pipe and scowled at Bill.
"Here you are," said Bill. "Cut a fill an' answer the
question."
" All in good time," said the Parrot, and he added to Sam,
"You got any tobacco?"
Sam handed him a fill, and he put it in his pocket. "You ain't
got any tobacco," he said scornfully to Bunyip Bluegum. "I can
see that at a glance. You're one of the non-smoking sort, all fur
and feathers."
"Here," said Bill angrily, "Enough o' this beatin' about the
bush. Answer the question."
"Don't be impatient," said the Parrot. "Have you got a bit o'
tea an' sugar on yer?"
"Here's yer tea an' sugar," said Bill, handing a little of each
out of the bag. "An that's the last thing you get. Now will you
answer the question?"
"Wot question," asked the Parrot.
"Have yer seen a singed possum?" roared Bill.
"No, I haven't," said the Parrot, and he actually had the
insolence to laugh in Bill's face.
"Of all the swivel-eyed, up-jumped, cross-grained, sons of a
cock-eyed tinker," exclaimed Bill, boiling with rage. "If
punching parrots on the beak,wasn't too painful for pleasure,
I'd land you a sockdolager on the muzzle that ud lay you out till
Christmas. Come on, mates," he added, "it's no use wastin' time
over this low-down, hook-nosed, tobacco-grabber. "And leaving the
evil-minded Parrot to pursue his evil-minded way, they hurried off
in search of information.
The next person they spied was a Bandicoot carrying a watermelon.
At a first glance you would have thought it was merely a watermelon
walking by itself, but a second glance would have shown you that
the walking was being done by a small pair of legs attached to the
watermelon, and a third glance would have disclosed that the legs
were attached to a Bandicoot.
They shouted, "Hi, you with the melon!" to attract his attention,
and set off running after him, and the Bandicoot, being naturally
of a terrified disposition, ran for all he was worth. He wasn't
worth much as a runner, owing to the weight of the watermelon,
and they caught him up half-way across the field.
Conceiving that his hour had come, the Bandicoot gave a shrill
squeak of terror and fell on his knees.
"Take me watermelon," he gasped, "but spare me life."
"Stuff an' nonsense," said Bill. "We don't want your life.
What we want is some information. Have you seen a singed possum
about this morning?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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