"It is enough to make one dumb And very pale in hue To know that puddin'-thieves should come To sacred Tooraloo. "The Law's just anger must appear. Ho! seize these scoundrels who Pollute the moral atmosphere Of rural Tooraloo." "We protest against these cruel words," said the Possum. "We have been assaulted and battered and snout-bended by ruffians of the worst description." "How can Your Worship say such things," said the Wombat, "and us a-wearin' bell-toppers before your very eyes." "If you've been assaulted and battered," said the Mayor, "we shall have to arrest the assaulters and batterers as well." "What's fair to one is fair to all," said the Constable. "You'll admit that, of course?" he added to Bill. "I admit nothin' of the sort," said Bill. "If you want to arrest anybody, do your duty and arrest these here puddin'-snatchers. "If you're an officer of the Law, A constant felon-catcher, Then do not hesitate before A common puddin'-snatcher." "We call on you to arrest these assaulters and batterers of people wearing top-hats," said the puddin'-thieves; "Our innocence let all attest, We prove it by our hatter; It is your duty to arrest Not those in top-hats of the best, But those who top-hats batter." "It's very clear that somebody has to be arrested," said the Mayor. "I can't be put to the trouble of wearing my robes of office in public without somebody having to pay for it. I don't care whether you arrest the top-hat batterers, or the battered top-hatterers; all I say is, do your duty, whatever happens-- "So somebody, no matter who, You must arrest or rue it; As I'm the Mayor of Tooraloo, And you've the painful job to do, I call on you to do it." "Very well," said the Constable, peevishly, "as I've got to take all the responsibility, I'll settle the matter by arresting the Puddin'. As far as I can see, he's the ringleader in this disturbance." "You're a carrot-nosed poltroon," said the Puddin' loudly. "As for the Mayor, he's a sausage-shaped porous plaster," and he gave him a sharp pinch in the leg. "What a ferocious Puddin'," said the Mayor, turning as pale as a turnip. "Officer, do your duty and arrest this dangerous felon before he perpetrates further sacrilegious acts." "That's all very well, you know," said the Constable, turning as pale as tripe; "but he might nip me." "I can't help that," cried the Mayor, angrily. "At all costs I must be protected from danger. Do your duty and arrest this felon with your hat." The Constable looked around, gasped, and, summoning all his courage, scooped up the Puddin' in his hat. "My word," he said, breathlessly, "but that was a narrow squeak. I expected every moment to be my last." "Now we breathe more freely," said the Mayor, and led the way to the Tooraloo Court House.