The Magistrate: A Farce in Three ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The Magistrate: A Farce in Three Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
[_Following him with the paper and inkstand._] Cis! Cis! You haven't
finished the promise! You haven't finished the promise!
LUGG.
[_Heard outside._] All right, sir--I've got you--I've got you.
[_POPHAM opens the door._
POPHAM.
The master and a policeman! [_LUGG enters supporting MR. POSKET who
sinks into an armchair with a groan._] Oh, what's the matter?
LUGG.
All right, my good girl, you run downstairs and fetch a drop of brandy
and water.
MR. POSKET.
[_Hurrying out._] Oh!
LUGG.
Now don't take on so, sir. It's what might happen to any married
gentleman. Now, you're all right now, sir. And I'll hurry back to the
Court to see whether they've sent for Mr. Bullamy.
MR. POSKET.
My wife! My wife!
LUGG.
Oh, come now, sir, what _is_ seven days! Why many a married gentleman
in your position, sir, would have been glad to have made it fourteen.
MR. POSKET.
Go away--leave me.
LUGG.
Certainly, sir. [_POPHAM re-enters with a small tumbler of brandy and
water; he takes it from her and drinks it._] It's not wanted. I'm
thankful to say he's better.
POPHAM.
[_To LUGG._] If you please, cook presents her compliments, and she
would be glad of the pleasure of your company downstairs, before
leavin'.
[_They go out._
MR. POSKET.
Agatha and Lukyn! Agatha and Lukyn supping together at the Hotel des
Princes, while I was at home and asleep--while I ought to have been at
home and asleep! It's awful!
CIS.
[_Looking in at the door and entering._] Hallo, Guv!
MR. POSKET.
[_Starting up._] Cis!
CIS.
Where did you fetch, Guv?
MR. POSKET.
Where did I fetch! You wretched boy! I fetched Kilburn, and I'll fetch
you a sound whipping when I recover my composure.
CIS.
What for?
MR. POSKET.
For leading me astray, sir. Yours is the first bad companionship I
have ever formed! Evil communication with you, sir, has corrupted me!
[_Taking CIS by the collar and shaking him._] Why did you abandon me
at Kilburn?
CIS.
Because you were quite done, and I branched off to draw the crowd away
from you after me.
MR. POSKET.
Did you, Cis, did you? [_Putting his hand on CIS'S shoulder._] My
boy--my boy! Oh, Cis, we're in such trouble!
CIS.
You weren't caught, Guv?
MR. POSKET.
No--but do you know who the ladies are who were supping at the Hotel
des Princes?
CIS.
No--do you?
MR. POSKET.
Do I? They were your mother and Aunt Charlotte.
CIS.
The mater and Aunt Charlotte! Ha, ha, ha! [_Laughing and dancing with
delight._] Ha! ha! Oh, I say, Guv, what a lark!
MR. POSKET.
A lark! They were taken to the police station!
CIS.
[_Changing his tone._] My mother?
MR. POSKET.
They were brought before the magistrate and sentenced.
CIS.
Sentenced?
MR. POSKET.
To seven days' imprisonment.
CIS.
Oh!
[_He puts his hat on fiercely._
MR. POSKET.
What are you going to do?
CIS.
Get my mother out first, and then break every bone in that
magistrate's body.
MR. POSKET.
Cis! Cis! he's an unhappy wretch and he did his duty.
CIS.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account