The Making Of A Novelist: An Experiment In AutobiographyMurray, David Christie
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The Making Of A Novelist: An Experiment In Autobiography
Murray, David Christie
Murray, David Christie, 1847-1907; Novelists, English -- 19th century -- Biography
cross the Channel, was useful for a time. But at last there was nothing
more for him to take or for me to offer, and I was alone in London with
a vengeance.
Thousands of well-to-do people endure privation and discomfort every
year for the pure pleasure of it. In my campaigning days I lived on
black bread and onions and dirty water for seven weeks, and topped up
that agreeable record with four days' absolute starvation, But I had a
pocketful of money, though there was nothing to be bought with it, and
I had staunch comrades, and we were marching on with the certainty of
plenty before us. It was all endured easily enough, and now and then
there were outbursts of rollicking jocundity in spite of it The mere
physical suffering of privation is not a thousandth part of its pain.
The sense of loneliness, of defeat, of unmerited neglect; the blind
rebellion against the inequality with which the world's chances are
distributed; the impotent sense of power which finds no outlet--these
are the things which make poverty bitter. But there was nothing else for
it, and I took up _la vie en plein air_.
My favourite chamber in the Hotel of the Beautiful Star during the
hours of darkness was the Thames Embankment. I have passed many years
in London since then, and must have heard the boom of Big Ben and the
monotonous musical chime which precedes it many thousands of times. They
have rarely greeted a conscious ear without bringing back a memory of
the stealing river (all dull shine and deep shadow), the lights on the
spanning bridges, the dim murmur of distant traffic, the shot-tower
glooming up against the sky, the bude-light flaring from the tower of
the Palace of Parliament, the sordid homeless folks huddled together
on the benches, the solemn tramp of the peeler, and the flash of the
bullseye light that awoke the chilled and stiffened sleepers. There is a
certain odour of Thames Embankment which I should recognise anywhere. I
have encountered it often, and it brings back the scene as suddenly and
as vividly as the chimes themselves.
There is plenty of elbow-room in the Hôtel de la Belle Etoile, and there
is water enough; but in other respects the provision it offers is scanty
and comfortless. I spent four days and nights in it, and was on the
borders of despair, when what looked like a mere chance saved me.
Suppose I had not walked down Fleet Street; suppose I had not stopped
to look at the little cork balls in Lipscombe's window, so mournfully
emblematic of my own condition; suppose that the unsuspected
good-hearted friend had not come by and clapped me on the shoulder, what
would have happened? _Quien sabe?_ These are the narrow chances of
life which give one pause sometimes. He came, however, the unsuspected
helpful friend.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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