'I am free to do as I like. I am my own mistress; and I am doing nothing
that is wrong. Even if it is unconventional, what of that? God knows
there are enough conventions in the world that are wrong, hopelessly,
unalterably wrong. After all, who are the people who are most bound by
convention? Those who call themselves "smart!" If Convention is the god
of the smart set, then it is about time that honest people chose
another!'
* * * * *
Leonard received the letter at breakfast-time. He did not give it any
special attention, as he had other letters at the same time, some of
which were, if less pleasant, of more immediate importance. He had of
late been bombarded with dunning letters from tradesmen; for during his
University life, and ever since, he had run into debt. The moderate
allowance his father made him he had treated as cash for incidental
expenses, but everything else had been on credit. Indeed he was
beginning to get seriously alarmed about the future, for his father, who
had paid his debts once, and at a time when they were by comparison
inconsiderable, had said that he would not under any circumstances pay
others. He was not sorry, therefore, for an opportunity of getting away
for a few hours from home; from himself--from anxieties, possibilities.
The morning was a sweltering one, and he grumbled to himself as he set
out on his journey through the woods.
* * * * *
Stephen rose fresh and in good spirits, despite her sleepless night. When
youth and strength are to the fore, a night's sleep is not of much
account, for the system once braced up is not allowed to slacken. It was
a notable sign of her strong nature that she was not even impatient, but
waited with calm fixity the hour at which she had asked Leonard Everard
to meet her. It is true that as the time grew closer her nerve was less
marked. And just before it she was a girl--and nothing more; with all
girl's diffidence, a girl's self-distrust, a girl's abnegation, a girl's
plasticity.
In the more purely personal aspect of her enterprise Stephen's effort was
more conscious. It is hardly possible for a pretty woman to seek in her
study of perfection the aid of her mirror and to be unconscious of her
aims. There must certainly be at least one dominant purpose: the
achievement of success. Stephen did not attempt to deny her own beauty;
on the contrary she gave it the fullest scope. There was a certain
triumph in her glance as she took her last look in her mirror; a
gratification of her wish to show herself in the best way possible. It
was a very charming picture which the mirror reflected.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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