“My father had been some days absent on a visit to a dying relation, from
whom he had considerable expectations. I was left at home, with no other
company than my books: my books I found were not now such companions as
they used to be; I was restless, melancholy, unsatisfied with myself.
But judge my situation when I received a billet from Mr. Winbrooke
informing me, that he had sounded Sir George on the subject we had talked
of, and found him so averse to any match so unequal to his own rank and
fortune, that he was obliged, with whatever reluctance, to bid adieu to a
place, the remembrance of which should ever be dear to him.
“I read this letter a hundred times over. Alone, helpless, conscious of
guilt, and abandoned by every better thought, my mind was one motley
scene of terror, confusion, and remorse. A thousand expedients suggested
themselves, and a thousand fears told me they would be vain: at last, in
an agony of despair, I packed up a few clothes, took what money and
trinkets were in the house, and set out for London, whither I understood
he was gone; pretending to my maid, that I had received letters from my
father requiring my immediate attendance. I had no other companion than
a boy, a servant to the man from whom I hired my horses. I arrived in
London within an hour of Mr. Winbrooke, and accidentally alighted at the
very inn where he was.
“He started and turned pale when he saw me; but recovered himself in time
enough to make many new protestations of regard, and beg me to make
myself easy under a disappointment which was equally afflicting to him.
He procured me lodgings, where I slept, or rather endeavoured to sleep,
for that night. Next morning I saw him again, he then mildly observed on
the imprudence of my precipitate flight from the country, and proposed my
removing to lodgings at another end of the town, to elude the search of
my father, till he should fall upon some method of excusing my conduct to
him, and reconciling him to my return. We took a hackney-coach, and
drove to the house he mentioned.
“It was situated in a dirty lane, furnished with a tawdry affectation of
finery, with some old family pictures hanging on walls which their own
cobwebs would better have suited. I was struck with a secret dread at
entering, nor was it lessened by the appearance of the landlady, who had
that look of selfish shrewdness, which, of all others, is the most
hateful to those whose feelings are untinctured with the world. A girl,
who she told us was her niece, sat by her, playing on a guitar, while
herself was at work, with the assistance of spectacles, and had a
prayer-book with the leaves folded down in several places, lying on the
table before her. Perhaps, sir, I tire you with my minuteness, but the
place, and every circumstance about it, is so impressed on my mind, that
I shall never forget it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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