“I dined that day with Mr. Winbrooke alone. He lost by degrees that
restraint which I perceived too well to hang about him before, and, with
his former gaiety and good humour, repeated the flattering things which,
though they had once been fatal, I durst not now distrust. At last,
taking my hand and kissing it, ‘It is thus,’ said he, ‘that love will
last, while freedom is preserved; thus let us ever be blessed, without
the galling thought that we are tied to a condition where we may cease to
be so.’
“I answered, ‘That the world thought otherwise: that it had certain ideas
of good fame, which it was impossible not to wish to maintain.’
“‘The world,’ said he, ‘is a tyrant, they are slaves who obey it; let us
be happy without the pale of the world. To-morrow I shall leave this
quarter of it, for one where the talkers of the world shall be foiled,
and lose us. Could not my Emily accompany me? my friend, my companion,
the mistress of my soul! Nay, do not look so, Emily! Your father may
grieve for a while, but your father shall be taken care of; this
bank-bill I intend as the comfort for his daughter.’
“I could contain myself no longer: ‘Wretch,’ I exclaimed, ‘dost thou
imagine that my father’s heart could brook dependence on the destroyer of
his child, and tamely accept of a base equivalent for her honour and his
own?’
“‘Honour, my Emily,’ said he, ‘is the word of fools, or of those wiser
men who cheat them. ’Tis a fantastic bauble that does not suit the
gravity of your father’s age; but, whatever it is, I am afraid it can
never be perfectly restored to you: exchange the word then, and let
pleasure be your object now.’
“At these words he clasped me in his arms, and pressed his lips rudely to
my bosom. I started from my seat. ‘Perfidious villain!’ said I, ‘who
dar’st insult the weakness thou hast undone; were that father here, thy
coward soul would shrink from the vengeance of his honour! Cursed be
that wretch who has deprived him of it! oh doubly cursed, who has dragged
on his hoary head the infamy which should have crushed her own!’ I
snatched a knife which lay beside me, and would have plunged it in my
breast, but the monster prevented my purpose, and smiling with a grin of
barbarous insult—
“‘Madam,’ said he, ‘I confess you are rather too much in heroics for me;
I am sorry we should differ about trifles; but as I seem somehow to have
offended you, I would willingly remedy it by taking my leave. You have
been put to some foolish expense in this journey on my account; allow me
to reimburse you.’
“So saying he laid a bank-bill, of what amount I had no patience to see,
upon the table. Shame, grief, and indignation choked my utterance;
unable to speak my wrongs, and unable to bear them in silence, I fell in
a swoon at his feet.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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