Humorous stories, American; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
“I am a stranger to you, but no matter: I have something to tell. I
have just arrived home from Mexico, and learned about that episode. Of
course you do not know who made that remark, but I know, and I am the
only person living who does know. It was GOODSON. I knew him well,
many years ago. I passed through your village that very night, and
was his guest till the midnight train came along. I overheard him
make that remark to the stranger in the dark--it was in Hale Alley. He
and I talked of it the rest of the way home, and while smoking in his
house. He mentioned many of your villagers in the course of his
talk--most of them in a very uncomplimentary way, but two or three
favourably: among these latter yourself. I say ‘favourably’--nothing
stronger. I remember his saying he did not actually LIKE any person
in the town--not one; but that you--I THINK he said you--am almost
sure--had done him a very great service once, possibly without knowing
the full value of it, and he wished he had a fortune, he would leave
it to you when he died, and a curse apiece for the rest of the
citizens. Now, then, if it was you that did him that service, you are
his legitimate heir, and entitled to the sack of gold. I know that I
can trust to your honour and honesty, for in a citizen of Hadleyburg
these virtues are an unfailing inheritance, and so I am going to
reveal to you the remark, well satisfied that if you are not the right
man you will seek and find the right one and see that poor Goodson’s
debt of gratitude for the service referred to is paid. This is the
remark ‘YOU ARE FAR FROM BEING A BAD MAN: GO, AND REFORM.’
“HOWARD L. STEPHENSON.”
“Oh, Edward, the money is ours, and I am so grateful, _oh_, so
grateful,--kiss me, dear, it’s for ever since we kissed--and we needed
it so--the money--and now you are free of Pinkerton and his bank, and
nobody’s slave any more; it seems to me I could fly for joy.”
It was a happy half-hour that the couple spent there on the settee
caressing each other; it was the old days come again--days that had
begun with their courtship and lasted without a break till the stranger
brought the deadly money. By-and-by the wife said:
“Oh, Edward, how lucky it was you did him that grand service, poor
Goodson! I never liked him, but I love him now. And it was fine and
beautiful of you never to mention it or brag about it.” Then, with a
touch of reproach, “But you ought to have told _me_, Edward, you ought
to have told your wife, you know.”
“Well, I--er--well, Mary, you see--”
“Now stop hemming and hawing, and tell me about it, Edward. I always
loved you, and now I’m proud of you. Everybody believes there was only
one good generous soul in this village, and now it turns out that
you--Edward, why don’t you tell me?”
“Well--er--er--Why, Mary, I can’t!”
“You _can’t_? _Why_ can’t you?”
“You see, he--well, he--he made me promise I wouldn’t.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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