Humorous stories, American; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
Next day there was a surprise for Jack Halliday. He noticed that
the faces of the nineteen chief citizens and their wives bore that
expression of peaceful and holy happiness again. He could not
understand it, neither was he able to invent any remarks about it
that could damage it or disturb it. And so it was his turn to be
dissatisfied with life. His private guesses at the reasons for the
happiness failed in all instances, upon examination. When he met
Mrs. Wilcox and noticed the placid ecstasy in her face, he said to
himself, “Her cat has had kittens”--and went and asked the cook; it
was not so, the cook had detected the happiness, but did not know
the cause. When Halliday found the duplicate ecstasy in the face of
“Shadbelly” Billson (village nickname), he was sure some neighbour of
Billson’s had broken his leg, but inquiry showed that this had not
happened. The subdued ecstasy in Gregory Yates’s face could mean but
one thing--he was a mother-in-law short; it was another mistake. “And
Pinkerton--Pinkerton--he has collected ten cents that he thought he
was going to lose.” And so on, and so on. In some cases the guesses
had to remain in doubt, in the others they proved distinct errors. In
the end Halliday said to himself, “Anyway it roots up that there’s
nineteen Hadleyburg families temporarily in heaven: I don’t know how it
happened; I only know Providence is off duty to-day.”
An architect and builder from the next State had lately ventured to set
up a small business in this unpromising village, and his sign had now
been hanging out a week. Not a customer yet; he was a discouraged man,
and sorry he had come. But his weather changed suddenly now. First one
and then another chief citizen’s wife said to him privately:
“Come to my house Monday week--but say nothing about it for the
present. We think of building.”
He got eleven invitations that day. That night he wrote his daughter
and broke off her match with her student. He said she could marry a
mile higher than that.
Pinkerton the banker and two or three other well-to-do men planned
country-seats--but waited. That kind don’t count their chickens until
they are hatched.
The Wilsons devised a grand new thing--a fancy-dress ball. They made
no actual promises, but told all their acquaintanceship in confidence
that they were thinking the matter over and thought they should give
it--“and if we do, you will be invited, of course.” People were
surprised, and said, one to another, “Why, they are crazy, those
poor Wilsons, they can’t afford it.” Several among the nineteen said
privately to their husbands, “It is a good idea, we will keep still
till their cheap thing is over, then _we_ will give one that will make
it sick.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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