Humorous stories, American; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
every last one of them.”] I believe they will even steal ostensible
_gamble_-money, rather than miss, poor, tempted, and mistrained
fellows. I am hoping to eternally and everlastingly squelch your vanity
and give Hadleyburg a new renown--one that will _stick_--and spread
far. If I have succeeded, open the sack and summon the Committee on
Propagation and Preservation of the Hadleyburg Reputation.’”
A Cyclone of Voices. “Open it! Open it! The Eighteen to the front!
Committee on Propagation of the Tradition! Forward--the Incorruptibles!”
The Chair ripped the sack wide, and gathered up a handful of bright,
broad, yellow coins, shook them together, then examined them.
“Friends, they are only gilded disks of lead!”
There was a crashing outbreak of delight over this news, and when the
noise had subsided, the tanner called out:
“By right of apparent seniority in this business, Mr. Wilson is
Chairman of the Committee on Propagation of the Tradition. I suggest
that he step forward on behalf of his pals, and receive in trust the
money.”
A Hundred Voices. “Wilson! Wilson! Wilson! Speech! Speech!”
Wilson [in a voice trembling with anger]. “You will allow me to say,
and without apologies for my language, _damn_ the money!”
A Voice. “Oh, and him a Baptist!”
A Voice. “Seventeen Symbols left! Step up, gentlemen, and assume your
trust!”
There was a pause--no response.
The Saddler. “Mr. Chairman, we’ve got _one_ clean man left, anyway, out
of the late aristocracy; and he needs money, and deserves it. I move
that you appoint Jack Halliday to get up there and auction off that
sack of gilt twenty-dollar pieces, and give the result to the right
man--the man whom Hadleyburg delights to honour--Edward Richards.”
This was received with great enthusiasm, the dog taking a hand again;
the saddler started the bids at a dollar, the Brixton folk and Barnum’s
representative fought hard for it, the people cheered every jump that
the bids made, the excitement climbed moment by moment higher and
higher, the bidders got on their mettle and grew steadily more and more
daring, more and more determined, the jumps went from a dollar up to
five, then to ten, then to twenty, then fifty, then to a hundred, then--
At the beginning of the auction Richards whispered in distress to
his wife: “Oh, Mary, can we allow it? It--it--you see, it is an
honour--reward, a testimonial to purity of character, and--and--can
we allow it? Hadn’t I better get up and--Oh, Mary, what ought we
to do?--what do you think we--” [Halliday’s voice. “Fifteen I’m
bid!--fifteen for the sack!--twenty!--ah, thanks!--thirty--thanks
again! Thirty, thirty, thirty!--do I hear forty?--forty it is! Keep
the ball rolling, gentlemen, keep it rolling!--fifty!--thanks, noble
Roman!--going at fifty, fifty, fifty!--seventy!--ninety!--splendid!--a
hundred!--pile it up, pile it up!--hundred and twenty--forty!--just
in time!--hundred and fifty!--Two hundred!--superb! Do I hear two
h--thanks!--two hundred and fifty!--”]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account