The Man Upstairs and Other StoriesWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Man Upstairs and Other Stories
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories, English
'Not at all,' said Martin, hurriedly.
'I should like,' went on Keggs, bowing, 'to speak to you on a somewhat
intimate subject--Miss Elsa.'
Martin's eyes and mouth opened slowly.
'You are going the wrong way to work, if you will allow me to say so,
sir.'
Martin's jaw dropped another inch.
'Wha-a--'
'Women, sir,' proceeded Keggs, 'young ladies--are peculiar. I have had,
if I may say so, certain hopportunities of observing their ways. Miss
Elsa reminds me in some respects of Lady Angelica Fendall, whom I had
the honour of knowing when I was butler to her father, Lord Stockleigh.
Her ladyship was hinclined to be romantic. She was fond of poetry, like
Miss Elsa. She would sit by the hour, sir, listening to young Mr Knox
reading Tennyson, which was no part of his duties, he being employed by
his lordship to teach Lord Bertie Latin and Greek and what not. You may
have noticed, sir, that young ladies is often took by Tennyson,
hespecially in the summertime. Mr Barstowe was reading Tennyson to Miss
Elsa in the 'all when I passed through just now. _The Princess_,
if I am not mistaken.'
'I don't know what the thing was,' groaned Martin. 'She seemed to be
enjoying it.'
'Lady Angelica was greatly addicted to _The Princess_. Young Mr
Knox was reading portions of that poem to her when his lordship come
upon them. Most rashly his lordship made a public hexpose and packed Mr
Knox off next day. It was not my place to volunteer advice, but I could
have told him what would happen. Two days later her ladyship slips away
to London early in the morning, and they're married at a
registry-office. That is why I say that you are going the wrong way to
work with Miss Elsa, sir. With certain types of 'igh spirited young lady
hopposition is useless. Now, when Mr Barstowe was reading to Miss Elsa
on the occasion to which I 'ave alluded, you were sitting by, trying to
engage her attention. It's not the way, sir. You should leave them
alone together. Let her see so much of him, and nobody else but him,
that she will grow tired of him. Fondness for poetry, sir, is very much
like the whisky 'abit. You can't cure a man what has got that by
hopposition. Now, if you will permit me to offer a word of advice, sir,
I say, let Miss Elsa 'ave all the poetry she wants.'
Martin was conscious of one coherent feeling at the conclusion of this
address, and that was one of amazed gratitude. A lesser man who had
entered his room and begun to discuss his private affairs would have
had reason to retire with some speed; but that Keggs should descend
from his pedestal and interest himself in such lowly matters was a
different thing altogether.
'I'm very much obliged--' he was stammering, when the butler raised a
deprecatory hand.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account