It is a commentary on our times that Alicia, a girl ready for college,
was ashamed of what she had told me!
I was a fool to press her further, I suppose, but then and there I
determined to be at least as brave as was Alicia.
"Have you," I asked, hoping my voice was not shaking, "have you already
some one in mind?" She shook her head vehemently, still plucking at the
leaves, I could not repress a profound sigh. "What does he look like in
your mind’s eye, Alicia? What is your vision of him?" I knew I was
courting pain, but there are moments when even torture is irresistible.
"I hope he will be strong—and fine—and manly," she murmured as if to
herself—"and have at least some of your—goodness, Uncle Ranny." Every
attribute of that hypothetical "he" was a reproach to my infirmities—a
blow at my peculiar weaknesses. But I had invited it. The ideal of a
girl never errs. It is her emotions that may lead her astray. Oh,
yes—she credited me with some "goodness." Few are the women, however,
who choose a man for his goodness. In my quality of "Uncle Ranny" I was
"good." I stood for a moment in silence, writhing with anguish,
alternately conjuring up and banishing the hatefully magnificent
creature of Alicia’s dreams. But at last I gripped my soul with sudden
resolution. Now at least she was mine; and I must accustom myself to
the idea of her being some one else’s at the earliest moment—to the
inevitable renunciation. She had innocently and adorably honored me with
her greatest confidence: For the present, at least, I must make the most
of my little happiness.
"Come, dear," I gently touched her on the shoulder. "You have told me
what I wanted to know." I put her hand through my arm and we strolled
on slowly. "We are horrible old fogies, Alicia, and we mustn’t tell a
soul about our views—or we should be ostracized and possibly jailed.
But nothing you could have said would have made me happier than what you
have just told me. I know of no greater career than the one you have
chosen. And college, much or little as you like of it, can serve you for
a finer womanhood no less than it can for anything else. In fact, more,
I think." From still swimming eyes she gave me a sidelong glance
mingled so much of gratitude, shame and pride, that I laughed aloud.
"There is one thing you’ve got to make up your mind to, Alicia." I drew
her close to my side. "You must come and tell me everything that’s on
your mind without repression. Don’t forget, my dear, that I am your
father, mother and most intimate friends. Think how sorry we should
both have been if you had suppressed and hidden what you have told me."
"Yes, Uncle Ranny," she breathed and very sweetly in a way to melt the
heart of a man, she lifted my hand to her lips and kissed it. I was
irreparably "Uncle Ranny!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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