Conduct of life -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Physicians -- Fiction
Society people in town; and she has money enough to take a theatre
there when she's lost her amateurishness a bit. Right off I shall be
somebody, too--I shall manage her affairs. I'll have a big ad. in _The
Era_ every week: 'For vacant dates apply to Mr. Seaton Carew!' Oh,
Mary, it's such a chance, such a lift! I _am_ fond of you, you know I
am; I care more for your little finger than for that woman's body and
soul. Don't think me callous; it's damnable I've got to behave so--it
takes all the light, all the luck, out of the thing that the way to it
is so hard. I wish you could know what I'm feeling."
"I think I do know," she said bitterly--"better than you, perhaps.
You're remembering how easily you could have taken the luck if your
prayers to me had failed. And you're angered at me in your heart
because the shame you feel spoils so much of the pleasure now."
He was humiliated to recognise that this was true. Her words described
a mean nature, and his resentment deepened.
"When did you tell Miss Westland?" she faltered.
"Tell her?"
"What I am. That I'm not----When was it?"
"This evening. It won't make any awkwardness for you; I mean, she won't
speak of it to any of the others. Nobody will know for----"
"The whole company may know to-morrow!" she answered, drying her eyes.
"Seeing that I shall be gone, they may as well know to-morrow as later.
Oh, how they will talk, all of them, how they'll talk about me--the
Bowmans, and that boy, too!"
"You'll be gone to-morrow--what do you say?"
"Do you suppose----"
"Mary, there are--I must make some--good heavens! how will you
go?--where? Mary, listen: by-and-by, when something is settled, in--in
a month or more--I want to arrange to send--I couldn't let you want for
money, don't you see!"
"I would not take a penny from you," she said, "not the value of a
penny, if I were dying. I wouldn't, as Christ hears me! Our life
together is over--I am going away."
He looked at her aghast.
"Now," he ejaculated, "at once? In the middle of the night?"
"Now at once--in the middle of the night."
"Be reasonable"--he caught her fingers, and held them in miserable
expostulation--"wait till day, at any rate. You're beside yourself,
there's nothing to be gained by it. In the morning, if you _must_----"
"Oh!" she choked, "did you think I would stop here an hour after this?
Did you--did you think so? You man! Yes, I should be no worse to you
I but to me, the lowness of it! All in a moment the lowness of it!
I've tried to feel that we were married; I always believed it was your
trouble that I had to be what I was. If you had ever heard--as soon
as it was possible, I thought every minute 'd have been a burden to
you till you had made it all real and right. To stop with you now, the
thing I am--despised--on sufferance----"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account