She got strength from the cruel comforting, and Mrs. Gorry in the room
below, listening intently, heard her crying cease. With her face still
shut in both her hands, she was telling herself that she had nothing to
reproach herself with; that she could not have acted differently; that
she had not really made this marriage; that she had only submitted to
it, being swept along by the pitiless tide, which was her father, and
Pete, and everybody. She was telling herself, too, that, after all, she
had done well. Here she lay in close harbour from the fierce storm which
had threatened her. She was safe, she was at peace.
The room lay still. The night was very quiet within those walls. Kate
drew down her hands and looked about her. The fire was burning gently,
and warming her foot on the sheepskin rug that lay in front of it. A
lamp burned low on a table behind her chair. At one side there was a
wardrobe of the shape of an old press, but with a tall mirror in the
door; on the other side there was the bed, with the pink curtains
hanging like a tent. The place had a strange look of familiarity. It
seemed as if she had known it all her life. She rose to look around, and
then the inner sense leapt to the outer vision, and she saw how it was.
The room was a reproduction of her own bedroom at home, only newer and
more luxurious. It was almost as if some ghost of herself had been there
while she slept--as if her own hand had done everything in a dream of
her girlhood wherein common things had become grand.
Kate's eyes began to fill afresh, and she turned to take off her cloak.
As she did so, she saw something on the dressing-table with a label
attached to it. She took it up. It was a little mirror, a handglass
like her own old one, only framed in ivory, and the writing on the label
ran--
Insted of The one that is bruk with fond Luv to Kirry.
peat.
Her heart was now beating furiously. A flood of feeling had rushed over
her. She dropped the glass as if it stung her fingers. With both hands
she covered her face. Everything in the room seemed to be accusing her.
Hitherto she had thought only of Philip. Now for the first time she
thought of Pete.
She had wronged him--deeply, awfully, beyond atonement or hope of
forgiveness. He loved her; he had married her; he had brought her to
his home, to this harbour of safety, and she had deceived and betrayed
him--she had suffered herself to be married to him while still loving
another man.
A sudden faintness seized her. She grew dizzy and almost fell. A more
terrible memory had come behind. The thought was like ravens flapping
their black wings on her brain. She felt her temples beating against her
hands. They seemed to be sucking the life out of her heart.
Just then the voice of Pete came beating up the echoes between the house
and the chapel beyond the garden--
“Little red bird of the black turf ground,
Where did you sleep last night?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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