“No,” said Effie softly, “not now.” She stole a look of shy, glad
confidence at Sam, and he found it extraordinarily difficult to meet
her eye, and still more difficult to say what he must, at any cost, get
said.
“I’m not so sure,” he said at last, wishing the earth would swallow him.
At that moment he would cheerfully have given a hand to escape having to
differ from them. They were Effie and his mother: they were his mother
and Effie: the two women to whom he owed everything: more, he loved
Effie so that every fibre in him yearned for her, and, even more than
that, he was delicately sensitive to Effie in her present case. But it
couldn’t change him. His loyalty was engaged, to fanaticism, to another
Effie, high Effie of the hills, of the crusade and the idea; and this
seemed to him somehow, a lower Effie, an Effie who had dipped the
flag of her ideal to a coming baby, whilst he was faithful to the old
unbending Effie who had thrown an imitation wedding ring away. It almost
seemed as if she wanted that ring back, base metal though it was.
A case, perhaps, of splitting hairs, but, at any rate, the case of a man
with a faith at one extreme and at the other his miserable conviction
that happiness was not for him. He had abandoned happiness when he left
Marbeck, and lived now in a place where happiness was barred by Ada.
“I’m not so sure,” he repeated drearily. “You see, there’s Ada and I
have to be fair to her.”
“Ada’s left you,” snapped Anne. A contentious Sam was not going to find
her amiable.
He chose to put it in another way. “My wife,” he said, “is staying at
present with her father. Yes, mother,” he went on firmly, “I’m going to
be fair to Ada and I’ve to guard against unfairness all the more because
you won’t be fair. You won’t be ordinarily just. You always hated Ada.”
“Yes,” she agreed viciously. “I’m a clean woman. I always hated vermin.”
Sam turned to Effle immensely heartened by this virulence. “You see!” he
appealed, calling to witness the hopeless bias of his mother. It was, he
wished to imply, this blind hatred of Anne for Ada which accounted for
his mother’s attitude, her exalting of--well--the mistress over the
wife, her flagrant unmorality. He tried to put all this into his
gesture. “And you,” he reinforced it, “you sent me to her, Effie.”
She bowed her head, admitting it, but Anne was not prepared to let it go
at that. “Even Effie,” she said “can make a mistake. She would not send
you now.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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