Sam, too, had wanted a son, but not, as Peter thought, by Ada and
for Ada. He wanted an heir for dynastic reasons. He was the Branstone
Publishing Company, its parent and original, and wanted flesh of his
flesh to publish after him. He dreamed of a young Sam in the cap of the
Grammar School, who should go to the University to which he had not gone
and have the chances he had missed. He built many castles in Spain for
the son who was never born.
Ada got up from bed and flashed greedily into new clothes. If the
measure of her buying was the measure of her grief, she had been deeply
touched. Perhaps she was touched, for she had aimed at marriage, which
is incomplete without a child. But in the shops, the fashion papers,
her clothes and the clothes of other women she found distraction and
an occupation. She passed a milestone and went on her way. Ada was no
stoic, no hider of her grief, and since she did not complain she must
have thought her childlessness was nothing to complain about. When she
set her heart on marriage, she hadn’t, perhaps, looked further than the
ring, the ceremony and the honourable state of being Mrs. Branstone.
She plunged to shops and spending money, Sam to business and making it;
and some, at any rate, of the now thwarted love he had been storing for
his son passed to the business. Somewhere at the back of his mind he
knew his business was not lovable; that it was pitch; that one cannot
touch pitch without being defiled. But neither can one deal successfully
in pitch without arriving at faith in the virtues of pitch. At intimate
moments he was aware that the “Social Evil” pamphlet was pernicious,
but Sam Branstone, inducing a bookseller to stock it, was more than an
advocate who believes temporarily in his brief: he was a missionary with
faith in his mission. So, too, with the texts. He sold them with the
conviction that it was good for people to have texts on their walls. He
counterfeited sincerity until he came to be sincere, or, at all events,
to forget that he was insincere.
Further and further into the unsearched recesses of his mind he pressed
the thought that he sold texts because their sales were good for
him, and with his working, everyday, non-introspective mind he had a
sincerity about his wares, convenient but none the less authentic,-which
was invaluable both to his self-respect and as a first aid to success
in salesmanship. He never, in the old days, praised a house with the
ringing voice of absolute conviction which he used about Law’s “Serious
Call.” He had not read Law, but the sales hung fire till he became
persuaded of Law’s tremendous worth.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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