Caroline in her own despite commenced to find something galling in her
situation. She had endeavored not to think at all about the species of
domestic service which she had heroically accepted. No one, indeed,
could have been less fitted for this complete surrender of the will. She
felt shocked by the obstinate or affected attention paid her by the Duke
d'Aléria, and she considered herself constrained to hide her impatience
and disdain. "In my sister's house," she said to herself, "I should not
be obliged to endure the compliments of this person. I should put an end
to them with a single word. He would think me a prude, but that would
make no difference. He would be sent off, and all would be said. Here I
must be sprightly and polite, like a lady of society, look upon the
light side of everything, see nothing offensive in the gallantry of a
libertine. I must guess the science of the women who are broken in to
this kind of life. If I am as brusk with him as my frankness would lead
me to be, the Duke would get a spite at me; he would calumniate me to
revenge himself, and perhaps to have me sent away. Sent away! Yes, in my
position, one is liable to be surprised by any vile plot, and dismissed
without more ceremony than is observed with the humblest servant. These
are the dangers and the insults to which I am exposed. I did wrong to
come here. Madame d'Arglade never told me about this Duke, and I have
been believing in an impossibility."
Caroline was not of an irresolute spirit. From the moment that the
thought of going away had occurred to her, she began to cast about in
her mind for some other way of supporting her sister. She had received
an advance from the Marchioness, and it was necessary to find elsewhere
another advance by which to return it, if the conduct of the Duke should
not permit of her remaining with his mother till the time paid for by
the little sum sent to Camille had been duly served. Thus Caroline came
to think of the few hundreds of francs offered her by her nurse, whose
letter received that morning was yet in her pocket. She now read that
artless and motherly letter again, and, thinking how great a benefaction
can go with the unpretending charity of the poor, she felt herself once
more deeply touched and she wept.
The Marquis entered and found her wiping her eyes. She folded up the
letter again and put it unaffectedly back in her pocket, without
attempting to conceal her emotion under an assumption of cheerfulness.
Nevertheless she remarked a shade of irony upon M. de Villemer's face,
which usually was so kind. She looked at him as if asking whom he wanted
to ridicule, and he, becoming slightly embarrassed, hesitated for words,
and ended by saying quite simply, "You were weeping?"
"Yes," she replied, "but not from sorrow."
"You have received good news?"
"No, a proof of friendship."
"You ought to receive such things frequently."
"There are testimonies more or less sincere."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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