"Oh," he said to himself, with the merest suspicion of a little quiver
in his lip, which might, of course, have been a laugh, but, on the other
hand, might have been something else, "I never was--or I would have told
her--That's the way she looks at it." Then he took up the letter again.
"Because--I see nothing but persecution before me. It was only a week
ago that it happened, and we wanted to keep it quiet for a time; but
things get out in spite of all one can do--things of that sort, at
least. And, oh, dear Jack, fancy! I have got three letters already, all
warning me against him; raking up trifling things that have occurred
long ago, long before he met me, and holding them up before me like
scarecrows--telling me he is not worthy of me, and that I will be
wretched if I marry him, and other dreadful lies like that, which
show me quite plainly that they neither know him nor me, and that they
haven't eyes to see what he really is, nor minds to understand. But
though I see the folly of it and the wickedness of it, mamma does not.
She is ready to take other people's words; indeed, there is this to be
said for her, that she does not know him yet, and therefore cannot be
expected to be ready to take his own word before all. Dear Jack, my
heart is so full, and I have so much to tell you, and such perfect
confidence in your sympathy, and also in your insight and capacity to
see through all the lies and wicked stories which I foresee are going to
be poured upon us like a flood that--I don't know how to begin, I have
so many things to say. I know it is the heart of the season, and that
you are asked out every night in the week, and are so popular everywhere;
but if you could but come down from Saturday to Monday, and let me tell
you everything and show you his picture, and read you parts of his
letters, I know you would see how false and wrong it all is, and help me
to face it out with all those horrid people, and to bring round mamma.
You know her dreadful way of never giving an opinion, but just saying a
great deal worse, and leaving you to your own responsibility, which
nearly drives me mad even in little things--so you may suppose what it
does in this. Of course, she must see him, which is all I want, for I
know after she has had a half-hour's conversation with him that she will
be like me and will not believe a word--not one word. Therefore, Jack
dear, come, oh, come! I have always turned to you in my difficulties,
since ever I have known what it was to have a difficulty, and you have
done everything for me. I never remember any trouble I ever had but you
found some means of clearing it away. Therefore my whole hope is in you.
I know it is hard to give up all your parties and things; but it would
only be two nights, after all--Saturday and Sunday. Oh, do come, do
come, if you ever cared the least little bit for your poor cousin! Come,
oh, come, dear old John!
"Your affect.
"E------."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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