The Master of Mrs. Chilvers: An Improbable ComedyJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
The Master of Mrs. Chilvers: An Improbable Comedy
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
England -- Drama
GEOFFREY. I know, dear. I was afraid. It mightn’t have come off. And
then you would have been so disappointed.
ANNYS. (_There are tears in her eyes_. _She still clings to him_.) I
am so glad. Oh, I am so glad!
GEOFFREY. It is all your doing. You have been such a splendid help.
(_He breaks gently away from her_. _Turns to_ ST. HERBERT, _with a
lighter tone_.) Haven’t you anything to say to a fellow? You’re not
usually dumb.
ST. HERBERT. It has all been so sudden—as the early Victorian heroine
was fond of remarking!
GEOFFREY. (_Laughs_.) It has been sudden. We had, none of us, any idea
till yesterday that old Bullock was thinking of resigning.
ELIZABETH. (_She has risen and moved towards the fire_.) Won’t it
necessitate a bye-election?
(LADY MOGTON _and_ ST. HERBERT _have been thinking it out_. _On the
others the word falls like a bombshell_.)
GEOFFREY. (_He turns to her_. _He does not see their faces_.) Yes.
But I don’t anticipate a contest. The Conservatives are without a
candidate, and I am on good terms with the Labour Party. Perhaps Mr.
Hunnable—(_He laughs_, _then_, _turning_, _catches sight of his wife’s
face_. _From_ ANNYS _he looks to the others_.)
LADY MOGTON. (_She has risen_.) You haven’t heard, then, of McCaw
versus Potts?
GEOFFREY. “McCaw versus Potts!” What the—
ST. HERBERT. Was decided in the House of Lords late yesterday afternoon.
Briefly stated, it confers upon women the right of becoming Parliamentary
candidates.
GEOFFREY. (_He is staggered_.) You mean—
LADY MOGTON. Having regard to which, we have decided to bring forward a
woman candidate to contest the next bye-election.
GEOFFREY. Um! I see.
ANNYS. But we never thought—we never anticipated it would be Geoffrey’s.
LADY MOGTON. I really cannot admit that that alters the case. Geoffrey
himself would never dream, I am sure, of asking us to sacrifice our cause
to his convenience.
GEOFFREY. No. Of course not. Certainly not.
LADY MOGTON. It is perhaps unfortunate that the candidate selected—
ANNYS. It is quite impossible. Such a dilemma was never dreamed of.
LADY MOGTON. And if not? Is the solidarity of woman—
GEOFFREY. (_Beginning to guess_.) Forgive my impatience; but whom
_have_ you selected?
ELIZABETH. (_When she likes she can be quite sweet_.) Your wife. (_He
expected it_.) We rather assumed (_she appeals to the others with a
gesture_), I think, that the president of the Man’s League for the
Extension of the Franchise to Women would regard it as a compliment.
GEOFFREY. (_His dislike of her is already in existence_.) Yes. Very
thoughtful.
ANNYS. You must choose some one else.
PHOEBE. But there _is_ no one else.
ANNYS. There’s mamma.
PHOEBE. Mamma’s too heavy.
ANNYS. Well, then, there’s Elizabeth—there’s you!
GEOFFREY. Yes. Why not you? You and I could have a jolly little fight.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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