The Master of Mrs. Chilvers: An Improbable ComedyJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
The Master of Mrs. Chilvers: An Improbable Comedy
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
England -- Drama
GEOFFREY. (_He looks at him_.) It’s got to be a fight! (_A moment_.
_He returns to his writing_.) Telephone Hake that I shall be dining at
the Reform Club.
CURTAIN.
THE THIRD ACT
SCENE:—_A room in the Town Hall_, _Poplar_. _A high_, _bare_, _cold
room_, _unfurnished except for cane-bottomed chairs ranged against the
walls_. _French windows right give on to a balcony overlooking the
street_. _Door in back opens upon a stone passage_. _A larger door
opens into another room_, _through which one passes to reach the room in
which the counting of the votes is taking place_. _A fire burns_—_or
rather tries to burn_. _The room is lighted from the centre of the
ceiling by an electric sun_. _A row of hat-pegs is on the wall between
the two doors_. _The time is about_ 9 _p.m._
(_People entering from the street wear coats or cloaks_, _&c._, _the
season being early spring_. _If passing through or staying in the room_,
_they take off their outdoor things and hang them up_, _putting them on
again before going out_.)
(JAWBONES _is coaxing the reluctant fire by using a newspaper as a
blower_. _He curses steadily under his breath_. _The door opens_.
GINGER _enters_; _she is dressed in cheap furs_.)
JAWBONES. Shut the door, can’t yer!
GINGER. Don’t yer want a draught?
JAWBONES. No, I don’t. Not any more than I’ve got.
GINGER. (_She shuts the door_.) ’Ave they begun counting the votes?
JAWBONES. Been at it for the last three-quarters of an hour.
GINGER. Who’s going to win?
JAWBONES. One of ’em.
(LADY MOGTON _has entered_. _She has come from the room where they are
counting the votes_.)
Shut that door! (_He glances over his shoulder_, _sees his mistake_.)
Beg pardon! (_To himself_.) Thought ’twas the other fool!
LADY MOGTON. (_She shuts the door_. _To_ GINGER.) Have you seen Mrs.
Chilvers?
GINGER. Not since the afternoon, your ladyship.
LADY MOGTON. She is coming, I suppose?
GINGER. I think so, your ladyship.
LADY MOGTON. It’s very cold in here, Gordon.
JAWBONES. Yes, my lady. Not what I call a cosy room.
LADY MOGTON. (_To_ GINGER.) Jump into a cab. See if you can find her.
Perhaps she has been detained at one of the committee-rooms. Tell her
she ought to be here.
GINGER. Yes, your ladyship. (_She crosses_, _opens door_.)
JAWBONES. Shut the door.
GINGER. Oh, shut—
(_She finds herself face to face with a_ MESSENGER _carrying a
ballot-box_.)
I beg yer pardon! (_She goes out_, _closes door_.)
LADY MOGTON. (_To the_ MESSENGER.) Is that the last?
MESSENGER. Generally is. Isle of Dogs!
(_He goes into the other room_.)
LADY MOGTON. (_To_ JAWBONES.) Do you know where Mr. Chilvers is?
(_There comes a bloodthirsty yell from the crowd outside_.)
JAWBONES. Not unless that’s ’im. (_He finishes for the time being with
the fire_. _Rises_.)
(JANET _enters_.)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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