The Master of Mrs. Chilvers: An Improbable ComedyJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
The Master of Mrs. Chilvers: An Improbable Comedy
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
England -- Drama
HAKE. Well, you see, miss, in my case, I rarely getting home much before
midnight, it would make it so late. Yesterday being my night off, things
fitted in, so to speak. Will there be any writing, miss?
PHOEBE. Yes. See that there’s plenty of blotting-paper. (_To_
ELIZABETH.) Mamma always splashes so.
HAKE. Yes, miss.
(_He goes out_.)
ELIZABETH. Did you ever hear anything more delightfully naïve? He
“gave” her the evening out. That’s how they think of us—as their
servants. The gentleman hasn’t the courage to be straightforward about
it. The butler blurts out the truth. Why are we meeting here instead of
at our own place?
PHOEBE. For secrecy, I expect. Too many gasbags always about the
office. I fancy—I’m not quite sure—that mamma’s got a new idea.
ELIZABETH. Leading to Holloway?
PHOEBE. Well, most roads lead there.
ELIZABETH. And end there—so far as I can see.
PHOEBE. You’re too impatient.
ELIZABETH. It’s what our friends have been telling us—for the last fifty
years.
PHOEBE. Look here, if it was only the usual sort of thing mamma wouldn’t
want it kept secret. I’m inclined to think it’s a new departure
altogether.
(_The door opens_. _There enters_ JANET BLAKE, _followed by_ HAKE,
_who proceeds with his work_. JANET BLAKE _is a slight_,
_fragile-looking creature_, _her great dark eyes—the eyes of a
fanatic—emphasise the pallor of her childish face_. _She is shabbily
dressed_; _a plain_, _uninteresting girl until she smiles_, _and then
her face becomes quite beautiful_. PHOEBE _darts to meet her_.) Good
girl. Was afraid—I say, you’re wet through.
JANET. It was only a shower. The ’buses were all full. I had to ride
outside.
PHOEBE. Silly kid, why didn’t you take a cab?
JANET. I’ve been reckoning it up. I’ve been half over London chasing
Mrs. Mountcalm-Villiers. Cabs would have come, at the very least, to
twelve-and-six.
PHOEBE. Well—
JANET (_To_ ELIZABETH.) Well—I want you to put me down as a contributor
for twelve-and-six. (_She smiles_.) It’s the only way I can give.
PHOEBE. (_She is taking off_ JANET’S _cloak_; _throws it to_ HAKE.)
Have this put somewhere to dry. (_She pushes_ JANET _to the fire_.) Get
near the fire. You’re as cold as ice.
ELIZABETH. All the seats inside, I suppose, occupied by the chivalrous
sex.
JANET. Oh, there was one young fellow offered to give me up his place,
but I wouldn’t let him. You see, we’re claiming equality. (_Smiles_.)
ELIZABETH. And are being granted it—in every direction where it works to
the convenience of man.
PHOEBE. (_Laughs_.) Is she coming—the Villiers woman?
JANET. Yes. I ran her down at last—at her dress-maker’s. She made an
awful fuss about it, but I wouldn’t leave till she’d promised. Tell me,
it’s something quite important, isn’t it?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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