The “warring opposites” of Othloh’s spiritual struggle were, on the one
side, evil thoughts and delusions from the devil, and, on the other, the
strength and enlightenment imparted by the grace of God. The nearer the
crisis comes, the clearer are the devil’s whisperings and the warnings of
the instructing voice. Othloh’s part in it was his choice and acceptance
of the divine counsellor. This conflict never faded from his mind. He has
much to say of the visions[404] in which parts of his enlightenment had
come. Once reading Lucan in the monastery, he swooned, and in his swoon
was beaten with many stripes by a man of terrible and threatening
countenance. By this he was led to abandon profane reading and other
worldly vanities. These visionary floggings left him feeble and ill in
body. They were the approaches to his great spiritual conflict. His
“fourth vision” is in and of the crisis. This monk, immersed in spiritual
struggles, had also his opinions regarding the government of the
monastery, and for a time refused obedience to the abbot’s irregular
rulings, and spoke harshly of him:
“For this I did penance before the abbot but not before God, against
whom I had greatly sinned; and after a few days I fell sick. This
sickness was from God, since I have always begged of His mercy, that
for any sin committed I might suffer sickness or tribulation, and so
it has come to me. On this occasion, when weakness had for some days
kept me in the infirmary, one evening as it was growing dark I thought
I should feel better if I rose and sat by my cot. Immediately the
house appeared to be filled with flame and smoke. Horror-stricken, my
wonted trust in God all scattered, I started, tottering, towards the
cot of the lay brother in charge, but, ashamed, I turned back and went
to the cot of a brother who was sick; he was asleep. Then I sank
exhausted on my cot, thinking how to escape the horror of that vision
of smoke. I had no doubt that the smoke was the work of evil spirits,
who, from its midst, would try to torment me. As I gradually saw that
it was not physical, but of the spirit, and that there was no one to
help me, as all were asleep, I began to sing certain psalms, and,
singing, went out and entered the nearest church, of St. Gallus, and
fell down before the altar. At once, for my sins, strength of mind and
body left me, and I perceived that my lips were held together by evil
spirits, so that I could not move them, to sing a psalm. I tried till
I was weary to open them with my hands.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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