“Leaving that church, crawling rather than walking I gained the great
church of St. Emmeram, where I hoped for some alleviation of my agony.
But it was as before; I could barely utter a few words of prayer. So I
painfully made my way back to my bed, hoping, from sheer weariness, to
get some sleep. But none came, and, turn as I would, still I saw the
vision of smoke. Suddenly--was I asleep or awake?--I seemed to be in a
field well known to me, surrounded by a crowd of demons mocking me
with shrieks of laughter. The louder they laughed, the sadder I was,
seeing them gathered to destroy me. When they saw that I would not
laugh, they became enraged, crying, ‘So! you won’t laugh and be merry
with us! Since you choose melancholy you shall have enough.’ Then
flying about me, with blows from all sides, they whirled me round and
round with them over vast spaces of earth, till I thought to die.
Suffering unspeakably, I was at length set down on the top of a peak
which scarcely held me; no eye could fathom its abyss. Vainly I looked
for a descent, and the demons kept flying about me, saying: ‘Where now
is your hope in God! And where is that God of yours! Don’t you know
that neither God is, as men say, nor is there any power in Him which
can prevail against us? One proof of this is that you have no help,
and there is no one who can deliver you from our hands. Choose now;
for unless you join with us you shall be cast into the abyss.’ In this
strait, scarcely consenting or resisting, I faintly remembered that I
had once believed and read that God was everywhere, and so I looked
around to see whether He would not send some aid. Now when the demons
kept insisting that I should choose, and when I was well-nigh put to
it to promise what they wished, a man suddenly appeared, and, standing
by me, said: ‘Do not do it; all that these cheats say is false. Abide
firm in that faith which you had in God. He knows all that you suffer,
and permits it for your good.’ Then he vanished, and the demons
returned, flying about me, and saying: ‘Miserable man, would you trust
one who came to deceive you? Why, he dared not wait till we came! Come
now, yield yourself to our power.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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