The Memoirs of a Failure: with an Account of the Man and His Manuscript — John Shaqi
The Memoirs of a Failure: with an Account of the Man and His ManuscriptKittredge, Daniel Wright
Science
The Memoirs of a Failure: with an Account of the Man and His Manuscript
Kittredge, Daniel Wright
Failure (Psychology) -- Fiction; Harvard University -- Fiction; University of Virginia -- Fiction
And so Dunlevy and I separated practically at the point where we had
met. Sandy escorted me to the door, and as he closed it upon me, I
thought of both him and his master as two of the last representatives
of an epoch, an epoch of landed proprietors, of loyal passionate blood,
full of warmth and of color and of stately grace, into which a modern
American may never hope to enter. I, for one, gave up the attempt. With
generations of slaveholders behind him, it was not hard for Dunlevy
to become a Sybarite. I would I were mistaken, but it struck me that
the only live color of his college days were these nights of revery,
nights such as when Omar awakened. From his appearance that night, I
feared that in this respect he lived without constraint according to
his inclinations. Here surely was one man who had determined to let the
world go by.
As I walked down Holyoke Street that night to my room, I tried to
phrase the attractive impression that Dunlevy had made upon me; and
from thinking of him many times since then, I have finally found words
which describe his elusive nature, a nature leading me by eluding me.
The words were said of Grimm in his day:
“He is perhaps the only man who has the faculty of inspiring confidence
without bestowing it.”
Before the end of the session Dunlevy had left college again and
disappeared for parts unknown. I suppose a new fit of restlessness
had seized him. He must have been one of those men who are led by
successive impulses and are unable to settle upon anything. No excuse
was given and no word was left as to whether or no he would come back
until finally a storage van appeared at Beck Hall and carted away
his effects. Neither did he return to college the following fall. I
lost trace of him completely, yet I used to wonder how that man would
“finish,” as race-horse men express it; for one may study men as a
trainer does a string of horses and bet against them or bank upon them,
and it is always interesting to see who loses and who wins, who it is
that keeps whipping to the end in the face of certain defeat, and who
it is that loses hope, lags behind and drops out before the stretch is
reached. I had wagered upon Dunlevy as a man who would some day carry
his colors ahead before the judge’s stand. Perhaps I was mistaken about
him from the point of view of the world, but, friend, way down in the
bottom of your soul don’t you sometimes admit that there are other
points of view than that of the WORLD as we call it? In that case, it
may be that Dunlevy has won. Who knows?
The day after my class festivities at graduation were over, I was
seated in my room which was littered up with the remnants of packing,
when there came a knock at my door.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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