The Memoirs of a Failure: with an Account of the Man and His ManuscriptKittredge, Daniel Wright
Science
The Memoirs of a Failure: with an Account of the Man and His Manuscript
Kittredge, Daniel Wright
Failure (Psychology) -- Fiction; Harvard University -- Fiction; University of Virginia -- Fiction
For a moment longer I gazed upon this well-known scene, and (as I
thought) I heard myself say, “Take me back, oh, take me back again, to
the time of youth, and when all nature seemed a friend.” ... At that
moment my arm slipped, I grasped hold of the side of my arm-chair, but
not without coming forward with a start.... Susanne! A name forgotten
on my lips, yet always speaking and calling to me with the tongues of
memory. How strange are remembered kisses upon lips that are dead.
II
This night I am guest at a banquet. I am seated next to my host who is
a rich man, ah yes, we are all rich men; and he is dining and wining
us in celebration of the anniversary of his birth. The table is a long
one and is stretched away into a double banqueting hall. The guests are
assembled. An orchestra is playing. There is much wine, and food in
abundance is passed before us, and we make merry. Course after course
is served before us--turtle soup, timbales of pheasant, terrapin,
Kennebec salmon, venison, pates of birds in jelly, aspic of plover
eggs--bah! I am satiated and can eat no more--and yet now the dessert
comes on the table, course after course, but instead of eating anything
more I turn my chair a little sideways so that I may shade my eyes
and see into the next room. The hall wherein we sit is lighted with
brilliant spangles of bright bulbs and dangling prisms, and the whole
of our room is surrounded with great mirrors that we may see ourselves
feasting and drinking and making merry. But lo! as I shade my eyes and
look down the table, it seems to stretch away into a dimness beyond my
sight, and seated at the other end of the table in the next room are
countless guests; but they are glum and not merry. Upon more careful
scrutiny, I observe that this adjoining room is dimly lighted and that
there is no food upon the table, neither is there liquor for them to
drink. I can see snowflakes falling in the darkness without; I can see
it through the crevices in the windows of their room; whereas in our
hall the blinds are down, the shutters are closed and the curtains are
drawn close.
Every now and then, one of those who are sitting at that other end of
the table in the next room way off there in the dimness, would rise,
shove his empty chair under the table and make towards the door, but
on his way out he would have to pass by my host. As one after another
of them drew near, I noticed their wan, care-worn faces. Each one as
he passed my host, stooped over and said, “Good-night, brother; you
wouldn’t let me eat and I have to go, for all the food is at your end
of the table.” Then each would shut the door behind him as he went out
into the darkness.
“Who are they?” I asked my host, putting my fingers to my ear that he
might whisper.
“They are the poor,” he answered, contracting his eyebrows, “let me
fill your glass.”
He filled it to the brim; but in a moment of impulse, I arose and
dashed the glass against the wall.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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