The Memoirs of a Failure: with an Account of the Man and His ManuscriptKittredge, Daniel Wright
Science
The Memoirs of a Failure: with an Account of the Man and His Manuscript
Kittredge, Daniel Wright
Failure (Psychology) -- Fiction; Harvard University -- Fiction; University of Virginia -- Fiction
I have had occasion to remark how suddenly alcohol may affect the brain
if taken on an empty stomach; I shall now illustrate the impression
of one stupor after a heavy meal. Last night I drank freely during a
long dinner, and when I arrived at my lodging-house, I felt completely
overcome with fatigue. After climbing the five flights of stairs to my
room, I sank into my arm-chair with the sensations of vast bewilderment
and drowsiness. The small squares in the window frame before me merged
into the darkness, and I looked out into the crisp moonlight night as
if nothing were before my vision. I thought that it was the last Sunday
morning in August, as yet in its freshness, long before the steady
glare of the noonday sun. I was sitting, as it seemed to me, on the
porch of my old plantation home; and my negro servant had just told
me of his readiness to dress me for breakfast. Right before me lay
the long, rectangular lawn bordered by the grove of chestnut trees.
There was the same spreading poplar with the sheep nibbling its fallen
leaves; and the same zig-zag fence against which some of them were
rubbing themselves; I could even see little strands of grey wool on
the splints in the fence, and over the top rails I caught the same
glimpse of a curve in the James River, which can really be seen from
this point; but the river seemed muddy, as if from recent rains; I saw
a hawk rise and grow dim into a speck against the sky as he disappeared
down stream.
Looking in this direction led my eyes to rest upon the old clay road
which was then a highway crossing our plantation, and down which I
saw my father ride off once, never to return. Along this same road
now came a young horsewoman with an escort of two negro out-riders.
The trio came nearer and nearer until they reached the long driveway
bordered by boxwood hedges that led up to our house from the clay
road. I recognized her--Susanne, Susanne, wearing a sun-bonnet with
ribbons streaming out to the wind, her bosom rising and falling in the
excitement of the ride as she urged her bay mare along between the
rows of boxwood, the out-riders keeping in her dust. Her lips are red
with life and laughter. I remembered the last time but one when I saw
her, she kissed me again and again in the bloom of first love, of only
love. “Ah, we are together once more, dear, in the happy long ago!” I
was different then. I seem to feel the pressure of those lips; methinks
I even hear her now, her voice ringing with the love of love and of
life. “For life is love;” she used to say. But come I must go into the
house and dress to meet her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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