The Memoirs of a Failure: with an Account of the Man and His ManuscriptKittredge, Daniel Wright
Science
The Memoirs of a Failure: with an Account of the Man and His Manuscript
Kittredge, Daniel Wright
Failure (Psychology) -- Fiction; Harvard University -- Fiction; University of Virginia -- Fiction
“Come on, my followers! I have won. I have triumphed! At last I have
come into my own. Life is not a failure! My forehead beats with the
inspiration of fame, of music, of triumphal progress. The bells are
ringing for me, and every clash of their tongues sends a quiver through
my blood. The whistles shriek! Each blast makes the hair on my head
tingle. And the shouts: ‘Huzzah! Huzzah! Tiger! Three cheers for Me!
And three times three! Huzzah! Huzzah!’”
The band, the crowd and the leader have passed my window, and the music
has died away. I sit looking up into the star-lighted heavens, sipping
my sangaree.
I wonder how many of the followers of that exalted man had longed to
hear the music sound what it was sounding for him? Or was it? Ah, the
dream of fame that was, but never is, pewter for silver. I see the
spirits of the things which were to be, hovering about the living facts
of the things which are, I see them standing as shadow sentinels to us,
the sullen puppets of fate.
That crowd begins to march before me.
“You there! what are you? A clerk? A neat, scribbling clerk, and in
your hopeful youth, in the knee breeches of sturdy boyhood, you dreamed
that you were to be an architect! An architect of what? You alone can
tell us. Oh yes, I know you.
“Next! What art thou? A cringing politician, and from the height
of your white temple, one might surmise that good blood flowed in
your veins. What of you? Back at college, are you? I mean in your
memory. Very good, do you remember a clear-eyed enthusiastic youth
with ideals of civic purity, a young lawyer hearing the dictates of
righteousness--where is he? Dead! And you stand in his place, stanching
the wounds of conscience with the cobwebs of half-success. You had
money. It was not the greed for money, no, not that, but the easy
greed of ambition. Cheap ambition! Has the band played for you? How,
pray, does it sound? Tell us that? Ah yes, I know you.
“And you too, you lazy being with a sleek, well-fed smile upon your
rosy lips, yes, yes, I know you well. You have shirked doing anything
except to stroll along the Road of Least Resistance. You were born an
inheritor of great wealth, were you not? You are the scion of a great
money-getter who was at heart a voluptuary, and so you have never done
what you have not wanted to do, eh? No, that is not strictly the truth,
else why have you not done what you _really_ wanted to do? Look back
to that brilliant dawn of your manhood, when your soul bade you speak,
and you had a decent ambition to tell your fellow beings the truth,
that you were not to be envied, that it was not so! And you thought of
a great poem of discontent, of half-lighted love--aha, I know you well.
Do you ever hear the band?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account