Middle West -- Fiction; Real estate developers -- Fiction; Suburbs -- Fiction
“Never you mind,” he returned crossly. “I don’t usually take more’n half
a jiffy to just wash my hands, thank you!” And as he disappeared he was
heard to mutter, not without vehemence: “Plague take it!”
A few moments later he reappeared, not visibly altered except that his
irritated expression had become one of revolt. “Look a-here!” he said.
“I don’t see as _I_’m called upon to promenade over there and join in
with all this high jinks and goin’s-on!”
“Papa——”
“I don’t mind an old-fashioned party,” he went on. “I used to go to
plenty of ’em in my time, but when all they got for you to do is listen
to half the women in town tryin’ to out-holler each other, why, you bet
your bottom dollar I’m through!”
“But, papa——”
“No, sir-ree!” he protested loudly. “You can well as not go on over
there without me. Why, just look at the crowd they got in there
already.”
He waved his hand to the neighbouring domain on the south, where the
crowd he bitterly mentioned was not in sight, but was indicated by
external manifestations. Open family carriages, surreys, runabouts,
phaetons, and “station wagons” filled the Oliphants’ driveway, and, for
a hundred yards or more, were drawn up to the curb on each side of the
avenue. Coloured drivers sat at leisure, gossiping from one vehicle to
another, or shouting over jokes about the hot weather. The horses
drooped, or, with heads tossing at intervals, protested against their
check-reins—and one of them, detained in position by a strap fastened
to a portable iron weight, alternately backed and advanced with such
persistence that he now and then produced enough commotion to bring
profane bellows of reproof from the drivers, after which he would
subside momentarily, then misbehave again.
One of the coachmen decided to settle the matter, and, sliding to the
ground from the hot leather front cushion of a “two-horse surrey”, went
to chide the nervous animal. “Look a-me, hoss!” the man shouted
fiercely. “You gone spoil ev’ybody’s pleasure. Whyn’t you behave youse’f
an’ listen to music?” He pointed eloquently to the Oliphants’ open
windows, whence came the sound of violins, a harp and a flute. “You git
a chance listen nice music when you stan’ all day in you’ stall, hoss?
An’ look at all them dressed-up white folks goin’ junketin’. What they
goin’ think about you, you keep on ackin’ a fool?” Here, to clarify his
meaning to the disturber, he gestured toward some young people—girls in
pretty summer flimsies and young men in white flannels—who were going
in through the iron gateway. “You think anybody goin’ respect you,
cuttin’ up that fool way? You look out, hoss, you look out! You back
into my surrey ag’in I’m goin’ take an’ smack you so’s you won’t fergit
it long’s you live!”
Mr. Shelby, becoming more obdurate on his veranda, found this
altercation helpful to his argument. “Why, just listen! That crowd’s
makin’ so much noise I’d lose my hearin’ if I went in there. I won’t do
it!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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