The 'Mind the Paint' Girl: A Comedy in Four ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The 'Mind the Paint' Girl: A Comedy in Four Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama
[_FARNCOMBE takes his place behind ROPER and, headed by VON
RETTENMAYER, the men march round the room._
VON RETTENMAYER.
[_Waving the slippers in the air and singing._]
Weib, was ist in aller Welt
Dir an Schoenheit gleichgestellt!
Reizumflossen, wunderhold,
Perl' der Schoepfung, Herzensgold!
Tag's Gedanken, Traum der Nacht,
Schweben um Dich, Suesse, sacht.
[_VON RETTENMAYER halts before LILY and kneels to her. She extends her
left foot and he kisses her instep and puts her foot into her slipper.
She rewards him by lightly boxing his ears. He makes way for DE
CASTRO, handing him the other slipper, and DE CASTRO performs the same
ceremony with LILY'S right foot. She upsets DE CASTRO'S balance by a
little kick._
VON RETTENMAYER.
[_Seating himself beside JIMMIE, singing._]
Venus, seinen Nacken beut
Dir Den Sklave, dienstbereit!
[_DE CASTRO gathers himself up and sits in the chair at the end of the
settee in front of the, writing-table. BLAND and ROPER, having knelt
and kissed LILY'S foot, also sit, the former in the chair in the
middle of the room, the latter in the chair on the extreme left.
Finally, FARNCOMBE finds himself before LILY. He looks at her
hesitatingly and she returns his look with awakened interest and
withdraws her foot._
LILY.
[_Shaking her head._] No, no; don't _you_ be silly, like the others.
MRS. UPJOHN.
[_Loudly._] Tea!
[_BLAND, VON RETTENMAYER and DE CASTRO jump up and go to the tea-table
where FARNCOMBE joins them. GLADYS enters, carrying a stand on which
are a plate of bread-and-butter, a dish of cake, etc. ROPER takes the
stand from her and the girl retires. FARNCOMBE brings LILY a cup of
tea. DE CASTRO and BLAND follow him, the one with a milk-jug, the
other with a sugar-basin. VON RETTENMAYER carries a cup of tea to
JIMMIE, and then DE CASTRO and BLAND, having waited upon LILY, go to
JIMMIE with the milk and sugar. ROPER hands the bread-and-butter and
cake to LILY, then to JIMMIE, and in the end ROPER, BLAND, DE CASTRO
and VON RETTENMAYER assemble at the tea-table and receive their cups
of tea from MRS. UPJOHN._
ROPER.
[_Relieving GLADYS of the stand._] Give it to me. I want a little
exercise.
LILY.
[_Taking her cup of tea from FARNCOMBE._] Thanks.
DE CASTRO.
[_Helping LILY to milk._] Milk-ho!
BLAND.
Sugar?
LILY.
Br-r-r-rh! I'm putting on weight as it is.
ROPER.
[_Offering the bread-and-butter, etc.-- facetiously._] Ices, sweets
_or_ chocolates, full piano-score!
LILY.
Nothing to eat, Uncle; I dine at six.
MRS. UPJOHN.
[_Calling to JEYES from the tea-table._] Captain, ain't you goin' to
'ave any tea?
JEYES.
[_Moodily examining the presents on the writing-table._] No, thank
you, Mrs. Upjohn.
BLAND.
[_To JIMMIE, after she has been helped to milk._] Sugar?
JIMMIE.
Two lumps.
ROPER.
[_Pushing BLAND and DE CASTRO aside, imitating a female voice._] Ices,
sweets _or_ chocolates, full piano-score!
JIMMIE.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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