The 'Mind the Paint' Girl: A Comedy in Four Acts — John Shaqi
The 'Mind the Paint' Girl: A Comedy in Four ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The 'Mind the Paint' Girl: A Comedy in Four Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama
Noding is what it was, my dear Dolly, and nobody.
MRS. STIDULPH.
[_Fanning herself._] I suppose he can't find the artists; _that's_ it.
If you don't have the artists--! [_Shutting up her fan._] You
recollect my "Polly Taggart" in _The Merry Milliner_?
VON RETTENMAYER.
[_Stifling a yawn._] Gharming; gharming.
[_FARNCOMBE is bending over LILY while she is eating her ice and they
are talking lightly but intently. GABRIELLE, finding that she is "out
of it," rises with a pout and, carrying her plate, joins the ladies
and men who are at the fireplace. BLAND enters with JIMMIE at the door
on the left._
MRS. STIDULPH.
[_To VON RETTENMAYER._] I hate blowing my own trumpet, but I was
looking through my press-cuttings only yesterday. _I've_ never seen
such notices as I had for "Polly Taggart."
VON RETTENMAYER.
[_Closing his eyes._] Vavourable?
MRS. STIDULPH.
Favourable! They make me blush to read them. Stupid of me; but they
make me blush, positively.
[_JIMMIE comes to LILY, BLAND following her. On her way she sees the
handkerchief and powder-puff lying upon the floor._
JIMMIE.
Why, _there_ it is! [_Picking up the handkerchief and puff, and
rubbing the puff, which is an extremely ragged one, over her nose--
singing sentimentally._] "There are no friends like the old friends,
The constant, tried, and true;--" [_Sitting beside LILY._] Room for a
little 'un?
[_LILY, without interrupting her talk with FARNCOMBE, lays her hand on
JIMMIE'S for a moment._
BLAND.
[_To JIMMIE._] Bring you anything?
JIMMIE.
[_Wrapping the puff in the handkerchief tenderly and slipping it into
her bosom._] A liqueur of petrol and a lucifer-match.
BLAND.
[_Leaving her._] Oh, go on!
MRS. STIDULPH.
[_To VON RETTENMAYER._] And then to give it all up, as I was idiot
enough to do when I married, and for a life as dull as ditch-water! If
ever a woman sacrificed herself in this world----!
[_FULKERSON and DAPHNE enter at the door on the left and hurry to the
counter._
FULKERSON.
[_Boisterously._] Time! Time! [_To those standing at the counter._]
'Low me. 'Low me. [_To LUIGI._] Glass o' lemonade and a
whiskey-and-soda. Quick with the whiskey-and-soda.
MRS. STIDULPH.
[_To VON RETTENMAYER._] But I don't intend to stick to _that_
arrangement. If I can't get back into the theatres, there are the
halls! I was telling the Colonel this morning----
ROPER.
[_Appearing before MRS. STIDULPH, his programme in his hand._] Ours,
Dolly.
VON RETTENMAYER.
[_Rising with alacrity._] Aha! [_Bowing to MRS. STIDULPH._] I yield
with relugtance.
[_ROPER sits beside MRS. STIDULPH and VON RETTENMAYER hastens to
ENID._
ROPER.
[_To MRS. STIDULPH._] Another waltz.
DAPHNE.
[_To HENEAGE, who is claiming her._] Wait till I've finished my drink,
Stewie.
BLAND.
[_To NITA._] Nita.
NITA.
No; this is with Douglas.
BLAND.
Nothing o' the sort.
NITA.
[_Referring to her programme._] You're correct; my mistake.
DE CASTRO.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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