The 'Mind the Paint' Girl: A Comedy in Four ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The 'Mind the Paint' Girl: A Comedy in Four Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama
[_Coming to GABRIELLE who is talking to SYBIL._] Gabth.
GABRIELLE.
[_Dolefully._] Oh, you again!
DE CASTRO.
[_Mortified._] Afraid tho.
[_The sound of distant music is again heard, and there is a great deal
of bustle as the men claim their partners. TAVISH goes to EVANGELINE,
GRIMWOOD to, FLO, PALK and GLYNN to OLGA and SYBIL, and gradually the
assemblage melts away._
FULKERSON.
[_Coming to JIMMIE, who is conning her programme, and standing before
her-- reading from his programme._] "_Vawlse. Cry dee cure._"
JIMMIE.
[_With withering accuracy._] "_Valse. Cri de coeur._"
FULKERSON.
[_Wagging his head._] Very likely. Come along, Jimmie.
JIMMIE.
[_Rising and shaking herself out._] Jane to you, _if_ you please.
FULKERSON.
Tosh!
JIMMIE.
I was christened Jane, _Herbert_.
FULKERSON.
Well, I wasn't at the christening, see.
JIMMIE.
No; but if you are not more careful of those feet of yours while
you're waltzing, you _will_ be at my funeral.
[_She takes his arm and they go out at the door on the left. SMYTHE,
STIDULPH, COOLING, and SHIRLEY follow, talking together. All the
couples have now disappeared except VON RETTENMAYER and ENID and
FARNCOMBE and LILY. VON RETTENMAYER and ENID are at the counter, where
LUIGI is giving VON RETTENMAYER a glass of champagne, and the waiters
are busying themselves in collecting the soiled glasses, plates, etc.,
which have been left upon the mantel-piece and chairs. The bearded
waiter comes to LILY and she hands him her plate._
FARNCOMBE.
[_To LILY._] Shall we go down?
[_She rises, leaving her bouquet upon the settee, and is about to put
her arm through FARNCOMBE'S when she checks herself and looks at her
programme._
LILY.
[_Frowning._] Tsss!
FARNCOMBE.
Eh?
LILY.
[_In a low voice._] One, two, three, four--! Why, this-- this is our
fifth dance!
FARNCOMBE.
[_Softly._] Yes.
LILY.
Five out of eight!
FARNCOMBE.
[_Looking at his programme._] And 10, 12, and 14 are mine, too.
LILY.
[_With a movement of her shoulders, accepting his arm._] How unfair!
FARNCOMBE.
[_As they go to the right-hand door at the back._] Unfair?
LILY.
To the others. I can't think what made me so thoughtless.
[_They disappear. Two of the waiters carry out the soiled glasses,
etc.; another follows with the ices, and the bearded waiter with the
strawberries-and-cream. After a while, LUIGI also withdraws._
ENID.
[_Leaving the counter with VON RETTENMAYER._] Well, what did you say
to him?
VON RETTENMAYER.
I told him the biece wants lifding in the zecond aggd and that he
ought to gif you anoder dance.
ENID.
[_On the right._] What did _he_ say?
VON RETTENMAYER.
He will think it over!
ENID.
[_Scornfully._] Ha! That's Smythe's invariable formula, cunning old
fox!
VON RETTENMAYER.
But we are to dalk aboud it lader. I am waiding to ged him alone.
ENID.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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