The 'Mind the Paint' Girl: A Comedy in Four Acts — John Shaqi
The 'Mind the Paint' Girl: A Comedy in Four ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The 'Mind the Paint' Girl: A Comedy in Four Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama
[_Bowing again._] On my side.
ENID.
[_Giving him her hands._] Of course, I'd defray my travelling
expenses, and tips and incidentals----
VON RETTENMAYER.
[_Raising her hands to his lips._] Ah!----
ENID.
Not a penny of those should fall on you. [_Withdrawing her hands
quickly and backing away from him._] H'sh!
[_STIDULPH enters at the door on the left and again wanders to the
counter._
STIDULPH.
[_Taking another cigarette._] You're missing a very pretty waltz, Miss
Moncreiff.
ENID.
[_Going to the door on the left, VON RETTENMAYER following her._]
I was just saying so to the Baron.
[_ENID and VON RETTENMAYER disappear. STIDULPH lights his cigarette
and is leaving the counter when GABRIELLE and DE CASTRO enter at the
right-hand door at the back, DE CASTRO looking exceedingly sulky._
STIDULPH.
[_To GABRIELLE and DE CASTRO._] Ah, Miss Kato; ah, Sam! A pleasant
party, eh?
DE CASTRO.
[_Shortly._] Yeth. [_STIDULPH goes out at the right-hand door at the
back. DE CASTRO crosses to the left and then turns to GABRIELLE._] Dam
pleathant party!
GABRIELLE.
[_Dolefully._] Well, don't make a scene.
DE CASTRO.
Thene! _I'm_ not makin' a thene. Walkin' away from me in the middle of
a danthe and leavin' me thtandin' thtarin' after you like a detherted
child! _You're_ makin' the thene!
GABRIELLE.
I'm very sorry.
DE CASTRO.
I'm jutht ath good a waltzther ath anyone here, and better than motht.
[_Waving his arms._] If you're tired of me, announthe the fact
quietly. Don't go and wipe your bootth on me in public, becauthe that
hurtth my pride.
GABRIELLE.
[_With a little twist of her body._] I can't do more than apologise.
First time I've ever done _that_ to a man.
DE CASTRO.
[_Coming to her, mollified._] I don't athk it, Gabth; I don't athk it.
All I athk----
GABRIELLE.
[_Sitting on the nearer settee in the centre._] If I'm rude, it's
owing to my low spirits. I'm so shockingly low-spirited.
DE CASTRO.
I know you are, and I make allowanthes for yer. I repeat, all I
athk----
GABRIELLE.
[_Gazing at vacancy._] Mine's a strange nature. _On_ the stage, I'm
liveliness itself----!
DE CASTRO.
A perfect little lump o' talent! I've been tellin' Carlton tho--
perthuadin' him to introduthe an extra thong for you in Act Two.
GABRIELLE.
[_Looking at DE CASTRO._] You have?
DE CASTRO.
Yeth.
GABRIELLE.
Did he promise to think it over?
DE CASTRO.
Hith exthact wordth!
GABRIELLE.
[_With a hollow laugh._] Ha, ha, ha! [_Resuming her former attitude._]
As I was remarking, I'm a mass of inconsistency. _On_ the stage the
embodiment of elfish fun----
DE CASTRO.
That wath in the _Mail_.
GABRIELLE.
[_Nodding._] In the _Mail_. _Off_ the stage, I'm a sufferer from
what's called the artistic temperature-- no-- temperament----
DE CASTRO.
[_Uncomfortably, patting her shoulder._] Po' little girl; po' little
girl!
GABRIELLE.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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