The 'Mind the Paint' Girl: A Comedy in Four ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The 'Mind the Paint' Girl: A Comedy in Four Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama
Pff! _You_ won't get him alone, you stupid; _he'll_ take precious good
care of that. [_Finding that LUIGI and the waiters have departed, and
walking across to the left._] Ah, but it isn't dancing my mind's
dwelling on just now, dear boy.
VON RETTENMAYER.
[_Following her._] Nod?
ENID.
It's rest I'm yearning for-- my holiday!-- rest for my weary bones.
[_Turning to him without a sign of disturbance._] Karl, I'm simply
bursting with rage.
VON RETTENMAYER.
Rage?
ENID.
That wretched hotel at Ostend-- the Plage! They've the confounded
impudence to ask me a hundred-and-twenty-five francs a day for two
cubby-holes on the third floor, for my aunt and me.
VON RETTENMAYER.
Monsdrous. [_With a shrug._] But Ostend is-- Ostend.
ENID.
Thanks for the information. Is that all the sympathy you can offer?
VON RETTENMAYER.
Bardon. [_Humbly._] There may be gheaper hodels.
ENID.
Where the common people pay for their beds and meals with Cook's
coupons! [_Sitting upon the arm of the further settee in the centre
and swinging her feet._] Oh, it doesn't matter. I suppose it'll have
to be Swanage, or some brisk resort of that description. [_Sighing._]
So be it! [_Humming._] Tra, lal, lal, la----!
VON RETTENMAYER.
[_Sitting on the nearer settee in the centre, close to her, with an
anxious expression._] A hundred-and-twendy-five frangks a day?
ENID.
Including nothing-- absolutely nothing!
VON RETTENMAYER.
[_Biting his nails._] Prezisely! There's the eading and dringking.
ENID.
One can't starve, that's certain.
VON RETTENMAYER.
Which would amound to----?
ENID.
[_Watching him out of the corner of her eye._] I believe aunt and I
could manage to feed ourselves on forty francs a day-- or fifty-- at a
pinch.
VON RETTENMAYER.
[_His face growing longer and longer._] A hundred-and-twendy-five--
and fifdy----
ENID.
A hundred-and-seventy-five. [_Stroking his hair with a finger._] Call
it two hundred.
VON RETTENMAYER.
[_Leaning back appalled._] Fifdy-sigs bounds a weeg!
ENID.
Sixty, in round figures.
VON RETTENMAYER.
For a fordnight?
ENID.
Oh, no, dear; a fortnight's no use.
VON RETTENMAYER.
But one begomes sig of a blace afder a fordnight.
ENID.
If you only go for enjoyment; not if you go for rest-- rest.
VON RETTENMAYER.
Three weegs, then?
ENID.
A month. Smythe gives me the whole of August.
VON RETTENMAYER.
[_Passing his hand across his forehead._] A month!
ENID.
[_Rising and carefully picking a piece of fluff from her skirt._]
We're losing this dance. Shall we have a turn?
[_He gets to his feet with some difficulty and then faces her._
VON RETTENMAYER.
[_Breathing heavily._] Enid----
ENID.
[_Guilelessly._] Yes?
VON RETTENMAYER.
[_Putting his heels together and bowing to her._] If you would permid
me to be your bangker during your sday at Ostend-- four weegs----
ENID.
Karl----
VON RETTENMAYER.
I should be mosd gradified.
ENID.
[_Going to him._] I couldn't. Such an obligation!
VON RETTENMAYER.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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