What’s that? Won’t go? We’ll soon see about that!... GUSTAVE All right, you try. ACHILLE I’m not going to tackle a dirty tramp like him. But there’s Joseph, there’s the coachman. GUSTAVE We have tried; it’s no use; and, short of employing absolute violence.... (_More GUESTS appear at the door, most of them with their mouths full, some with their napkins under their arms, others with them tucked under their chins._) A GUEST What’s it all about? ANOTHER What are you doing, Gustave? ANOTHER What does the fellow want? ANOTHER Where has he sprung from? GUSTAVE He won’t go away. It’s another of Virginie’s blunders. As soon as she catches sight of a beggar, she loses her head. It’s really too silly. She let this madman in; and he insists on seeing Aunt Hortense and raising her from the dead. A GUEST You should send for the police. Why don’t you? GUSTAVE No, no; no scandal! I don’t want the police in the house on a day like this. ACHILLE (_Changing his tone._) Gustave. GUSTAVE Well? ACHILLE Have you noticed that two or three of the flags are cracked, over there on the left, at the end of the hall? GUSTAVE Yes, I know. It doesn’t matter; I’m going to have a mosaic floor to take the place of the flags. ACHILLE That’ll look more cheerful.... GUSTAVE And, better still, more modern. Instead of that door, with the lace curtains, I thought of having a painted window illustrating Hunting, Industry and Progress, with a garland of fruit and game. ACHILLE Yes, that will be very nice. GUSTAVE As for my office, I intend to have it in there (_pointing to the folding-doors_), with the clerks’ office opposite. ACHILLE When shall you move in? GUSTAVE A few days after the funeral. It would not do to come in the very next day. ACHILLE No. But meanwhile we must get rid of this chap. GUSTAVE He’s made himself quite at home. ACHILLE (_To SAINT ANTHONY._) Won’t you have a chair? SAINT ANTHONY (_Naïvely._) No, thank you. I’m not tired. ACHILLE Leave him to me. I’ll soon dispose of him. (_Approaching the SAINT, in a friendly tone._) Come, my friend, tell us who you are. SAINT ANTHONY I am Saint Anthony. ACHILLE Yes, yes, you’re right. (_To the others._) He sticks to it, but he’s quite harmless. (_Noticing the RECTOR among the GUESTS who have crowded around SAINT ANTHONY and giving him an artful and chaffing look._) And here’s the Rector; he knows you, and wants to pay you his respects. Saints are your business, Father: I know more about ploughs and traction-engines. Here’s an emissary from heaven, Father, great Saint Anthony in person, who would like a word with you. (_Under his breath to the RECTOR._) We want to get him quietly to the door, without letting him know. Once he is outside, good-bye. THE RECTOR (_In an unctuously paternal tone._) Great Saint Anthony, your humble servant bids you welcome to this world, which you have deigned to honour with your celestial presence. What does your Holiness wish?