SAINT ANTHONY To raise Mademoiselle Hortense from the dead. THE RECTOR It’s true that she’s dead, poor lady! Well, the miracle should present no difficulty to the greatest of our saints. The dear departed had a particular devotion to you. I will take you to her, if your Holiness will be good enough to come with me. (_He goes to the street-door and beckons to SAINT ANTHONY._) This way, please. SAINT ANTHONY (_Pointing to the folding-doors._) No, that way, in there.... THE RECTOR (_Still more unctuously._) Your Holiness will pardon me if I venture to contradict you, but the corpse, because of the influx of visitors, has been removed to the house opposite, which, I may mention, also belonged to the dear departed. SAINT ANTHONY (_Pointing to the folding-doors._) She is in there. THE RECTOR (_More and more unctuously._) Let me beg your Holiness, in order to convince yourself to the contrary, to accompany me for a moment into the street, where you will see the candles and the black hangings.... SAINT ANTHONY (_Imperturbably, still pointing to the folding-doors._) That is where I shall go. A GUEST Did you ever hear any one like him? GUSTAVE He’s going a trifle too far. A GUEST Let us open the door and all of us push him out together. GUSTAVE No, no; no scene! He might lose his temper. He’s very dangerous; he’s enormously strong. Keep your hands off him. Joseph and I, who are no weaklings, either of us, couldn’t make him move an inch. It’s funny, but he seems rooted to the soil. ACHILLE But who told him that the corpse was in there? GUSTAVE Virginie, of course; she’s been babbling for all she’s worth. VIRGINIE Me, sir? Excuse me, sir, not me; I was attending to my work. I answered yes and no, nothing else.... Didn’t I, Saint Anthony? (_The SAINT makes no reply._) Well, can’t you answer when you’re asked a civil question? SAINT ANTHONY She did not tell me. VIRGINIE There, you see! He’s a saint; he knew it all beforehand. I tell you, there’s nothing he doesn’t know. ACHILLE (_Going to the SAINT and tapping him amicably on the shoulder._) Now then, my fine fellow, come on; put your best foot forward, what! THE GUESTS Will he go, or won’t he? ACHILLE I have an idea. GUSTAVE What’s that? ACHILLE Where’s the doctor? A GUEST He’s still at table; he’s finishing up the trout.... GUSTAVE (_To JOSEPH._) Go and fetch him. (_Exit JOSEPH._) You’re right, he’s a madman; it’s the doctor’s business. (_Enter JOSEPH and the DOCTOR._) THE DOCTOR (_Appears with his mouth full and his napkin tucked under his chin._) What’s up? Is he mad? Is he ill? Is he drunk? (_Looking the SAINT over._) Why, it’s a beggar! I’m of no use in his case. Well, my friend, are things going badly? Is there something we want? SAINT ANTHONY I want to raise Mademoiselle Hortense from the dead. THE DOCTOR Ah, I see you’re not a medical man! May I have your hand? (_Feels the SAINT’S pulse._) Any pain? SAINT ANTHONY No. THE DOCTOR