A long lean man, with all his limbs rambling--no way to reduce him to compass, unless you could double him like a pocket rule--with his arms spread, he'd lie on the bed of Ware like a cross on a Good Friday bun--standing still, he is a pilaster without a base--he appears rolled out or run up against a wall--so thin that his front face is but the moiety of a profile--if he stands cross-legged, he looks like a Caduceus, and put him in a fencing attitude, you would take him for a piece of chevaux-de-frise--to make any use of him, it must be as a spontoon or a fishing-rod--when his wife's by, he follows like a note of admiration--see them together, one's a mast and the other all hulk--she's a dome, and he's built together like a glass-house--when they part, you wonder to see the steeple separate from the chancel, and were they to embrace, he must hang round her neck like a skein of thread on a lace-maker's bolster--to sing her praise, you should choose a rondeau; and to celebrate him, you must write all Alexandrines.--_Sheridan's MSS. in Moore's Life of him._ * * * * * A man of words and not of deeds, Is like a garden full of seeds. * * * * * STOLEN GOODS. A Negro in Jamaica was tried for theft, and ordered to be flogged. He begged to be heard, which being granted, he asked--"If white man buy tolen goods why he be no flogged too?" "Well," said the judge, "so he would." "Dere, den," replied Mungo, "is my Massa, he buy _tolen goods, he knew me tolen, and yet he buy me."--Elgin Courier._ * * * * * DECREASE OF LUNACY IN LONDON. According to the Parliamentary Returns in May, 1819, the total number of lunatics comprised in the circle of London and different private asylums, amounted to 2,005, which Dr. Burrows calculates as proving an increase of only five on an average in twenty years, notwithstanding the increase of our population. The late Dr. Heberden and Dr. Willan both concurred in this statement. The large district of Mary-la-bonne, which some years ago comprehended the greatest proportion of inhabitants in the metropolis, not less than 80,000,--from 1814 to the year 1819 received only 180 female lunatics, and 118 males. * * * * * INGREDIENTS OF MODERN LOVE.