Twenty glances, twenty tears, Twenty hopes, and twenty fears, Twenty times assail your door, And if denied, come twenty more, Twenty letters perfumed sweet, Twenty nods in every street, Twenty oaths, and twenty lies, Twenty smiles, and twenty sighs, Twenty times in jealous rage, Twenty beauties to engage, Twenty tales to whisper low, Twenty billet-doux to show, Twenty times a day to pass, Before a flattering looking-glass, Twenty times to stop your coach, With twenty words of fond reproach, Twenty days of keen vexation, Twenty opera assignations, Twenty nights behind the scenes, To dangle after mimic queens, Twenty such lovers may be found, Sighing for twenty thousand pounds, But take my word, ye girls of sense, You'll find them not worth twenty-pence. * * * * * GREAT AND SMALL. A shopkeeper at Poncaster had, for his virtues, obtained the name of the _little rascal_. A stranger asked him why this application was given him? "To distinguish me from the rest of my trade," quoth he, "who are all _great rascals_." C.F.E. * * * * * THE LAW, PROFESSORS OF, IN ENGLAND:-- Counsel 936 Special Pleaders below the Bar 49 Conveyancers 90 London Attorneys 2,146 Country Attorneys 5,200 ___________ Total 8,421 _Law List_ * * * * * EPIGRAM FROM THE SPANISH OF REBOLLEDO. (_For the Mirror_.) Fair Phillis has fifty times registered vows, That of Christian or Turk, she would ne'er be the spouse, For wedlock so much she disdain'd, And neither of these she has married, 'tis true, For now she's the wife of a wealthy old _Jew_; And thus she her vow has maintain'd! E.L.J. * * * * * THE LAWYER AND HIS CLIENT. Two lawyers, when a knotty cause was o'er, Shook hands and were as good friends as before, "Zounds!" says the losing client, "how come yaw To be such friends, who were such foes just naw?" "Thou fool," says one, "we lawyers tho' so keen, Like shears, ne'er cut ourselves, but what's between." * * * * * LIMBIRD'S EDITION OF THE BRITISH NOVELIST, Publishing in Monthly Parts, price 6d. each.--Each Novel will be complete in itself, and may be purchased separately. _The following Novels are already Published_: