Minerva bright Was a blue-stocking wight, Who lodg'd among the Attics; And, like Lady V. From the men did flee, To study the mathematics. Great Mars, we're told, Was a grenadier bold, Who Vulcan sorely cuckold; When to Rome he went, He his children sent To a she-wolf to be suckled. _Midas_. Sol, the rat-catcher,[5] Was a great body-snatcher, And with his bow and arrows He _Burked_, through the trees, Master Niobes, As though they had been cock sparrows. Diana, his sister, When nobody kiss'd her, Was a saint, (at least a semi one,) Yet the vixen Scandal Made a terrible handle Of her friendship for Eudymion. Full many a feat Did Hercules neat, The least our credit draws on; Jesting Momus, so sly, Said, "'Tis all my eye," And he call'd him Baron Munchausen. Fair Bacchus's face Many signs did grace, (They were not painted by Zeuxis:) Of his brewing trade He a mystery made,[6] Like our Calverts and our Meuxes. There was Mistress Venus, (I say it between us,) For virtue cared not a farden: There never was seen Such a drabbish quean In the parish of Covent Garden. Hermes cunning Poor Argus funning, He made him drink like a buffer; To his great surprise Sew'd up all his eyes, And stole away his heifer. A bar-maid's place Was Hebe's grace, Till Jupiter did trick her; He turn'd her away, And made Ganimede stay To pour him out his liquor. Ceres in life Was a farmer's wife, But she doubtless kept a jolly house; For Rumour speaks, She was had by the Beaks To swear her son Triptolemus.[7] Miss Proserpine She thought herself fine, But when all her plans miscarried, She the Devil did wed, And took him to bed, Sooner than not be married. But the worst of the gods, Beyond all odds, It cannot be denied, oh! Is that first of matchmakers, That prince of housebreakers, The urchin, Dan Cupido. _New Monthly Magazine_. [4] "I'll search out the haunts Of your fav'rite gallants, And into cows metamorphose 'em." [5] Apollo Smintheus. He destroyed a great many rats in Phrygia, and was probably the first "rat-catcher to the King."--_Vet. Schol_. [6] "Mystica vannus Isacchi." This was either a porter-brewer's dray, or more probably the _Van_ of his druggist.--_Scriblerus_. [7] There is some difference of opinion concerning this fact: the lady, like so many others in her interesting situation, passed through the adventure under an _alias_. But that Ceres and Terra were the same, no reasonable person will doubt: and there can be no _serious_ objection to the little _trip_ being thus ascribed to the goddess in question.--_Scriblerus_. * * * * * "THE SEASON" IN TOWN. _Theodore_.--I don't know how you could prevent people from living half the year in town.