When he kissed her at parting, he abruptly strained her to him, to give
her to understand that he had resolved to act. And so, indeed, he had,
until he reached the bottom of the stairs and found himself struggling
with his conscience again. When he saw her, two days later, he was pale
with confusion, and had the furtive look of a coward who hesitates in
face of a necessary action. She burst into sobs without saying a word,
weeping with her arms round his neck, horribly unhappy; and he, quite
unhinged, felt the utmost contempt for himself. He must put an end to
it.
"On Thursday, over there, will you?" she inquired in a low voice.
"Yes, on Thursday I will wait for you," he answered.
On that particular Thursday the night was very dark, a starless sky,
opaque and heavy, loaded with mist from the sea. Jacques, as usual,
arrived the first, and, standing behind the cottage of the Sauvagnats,
watched for Séverine. But the gloom was so intense, and she hurried
along so lightly, that she brushed against him before he caught sight
of her, making him start. She was already in his arms, and alarmed at
feeling him tremble, she murmured:
"Did I frighten you?"
"No, no," he replied, "I was expecting you. Let us walk on; no one can
see us."
And with their arms round the waists of one another, they strolled
slowly over the vacant ground. There were but few gas-lamps on this
side of the depôt. In some gloomy quarters there were none at all;
whereas they swarmed in the distance, near the station, like a quantity
of bright sparks.
Jacques and Séverine walked about for a long time without a word. She
had rested her head on his shoulder, and raised it ever and anon to
kiss him on the chin; while he, bending down, returned the kiss on
her forehead at the roots of her hair. The grave, solitary stroke of
one o'clock in the morning, had just resounded from air the distant
churches. If they failed to speak, it was because they felt they were
both thinking. They were thinking of nothing but that one subject. It
was impossible for them to be together now without finding themselves
beset by it. The mental debate continued. What was the use of saying
useless words aloud, as it was necessary to act? When she raised
herself against him for a caress, she felt the knife, which formed a
lump in his pocket. Could it be possible that he had made up his mind?
But her thoughts were too much for her, and her lips parted in a murmur
that was scarcely audible:
"Just now he came upstairs; I was wondering what for. Then I saw him
take his revolver, which he had forgotten. He is certainly going to
make a round."
They resumed silence, and it was only twenty paces further on that he,
in his turn, remarked:
"Last night some thieves took away the lead from here. He will come
along presently for sure."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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