The mule-bone : $b a comedy of Negro life in three actsHurston, Zora Neale
General
The mule-bone : $b a comedy of Negro life in three acts
Hurston, Zora Neale
African Americans -- Drama
WALTER.
Give me them cards. I believe you-all done give me the cub that time.
Look at me … this is Booker T Washington dealing these cards. (Shuffles
cards grandly and gives them to LIGE to cut.) Wanta cut ’em?
LIGE.
Yeah, cut ’em and shoot ’em. I’d cut behind my ma. (He cuts the cards.)
WALTER.
(Turning to player at left, FRANK, LIGE’S partner) What you saying,
Frank?
FRANK.
I’m beggin’. (LIGE is trying to peep at cards.)
WALTER.
(Turning to LIGE) Stop peepin’ at them cards, Lige. (To FRANK) Did you
say you was beggin’ or standin’?
FRANK.
I’m beggin’.
WALTER.
Get up off your knees. Go ahead and tell ’em I sent you.
FRANK.
Well, that makes us four.
WALTER.
I don’t care if you is. (Pulls a quarter out of his pocket and lays it
down on the box.) Twenty-five cents says I know the best one. Let’s go.
(Everybody puts down a quarter.)
FRANK.
What you want me to play for you partner?
LIGE.
Play me a club. (The play goes around to dealer, WALTER, who gets up
and takes the card off the top of the deck and slams it down on the
table.)
WALTER.
Get up ol’ deuce of deamonds and gallop off with your load. (TO LUM)
Partner, how many times you seen the deck?
LUM.
Two times.
WALTER.
Well, then I’m gonna pull off, partner. Watch this ol’ queen. (Everyone
plays) Ha! Ha! Wash day and no soap. (Takes the jack of diamonds and
sticks him up on his forehead. Stands up on his feet.) Partner, I’m
dumping to you … play your king. (When it comes to his play LUM, too,
stands up. The others get up and they, too, excitedly slam their cards
down.) Now, come on in this kitchen and let me splice that cabbage! (He
slams down the ace of diamonds. Pats the jack on his forehead, sings:)
Hey, hey, back up, jenny, get your load. (Talking) Dump to that jack,
boys, dump to it. High, low, jack and the game and four. One to go.
We’re four wid you, boys.
LIGE.
Yeah, but you-all playin’ catch-up.
FRANK.
Gimme them cards … lemme deal some.
LIGE.
Frank, now you really got responsibility on you. They’s got one game on
us.
FRANK.
Aw, man, I’m gonna deal ’em up a mess. This deal’s in the White House.
(He shuffles and puts the cards down for WALTER to cut.) Cut ’em.
WALTER.
Nope, I never cut green timber. (FRANK deals and turns the card up.)
FRANK.
Hearts, boys. (He turns up an ace.)
LUM.
Aw, you snatched that ace, nigger.
WALTER.
Yeah, they done carried the cub to us, partner.
LIGE.
Oh, he didn’t do no such a thing. That ace was turned fair. We jus’ too
hard for you … we eats our dinner out a the blacksmith shop.
WALTER.
Aw, you all cheatin’. You know it wasn’t fair.
FRANK.
Aw, shut up, you all jus’ whoopin’ and hollerin’ for nothin’. Tryin’ to
bully the game. (FRANK and LIGE rise and shake hands grandly.)
LIGE.
Mr. Hoover, you sho is a noble president. We done stuck these niggers
full of cobs. They done got scared to play us.
LIGE (?) Scared to play you? Get back down to this table, let me spread
my mess.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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