The mule-bone : $b a comedy of Negro life in three actsHurston, Zora Neale
General
The mule-bone : $b a comedy of Negro life in three acts
Hurston, Zora Neale
African Americans -- Drama
LIGE.
She sho is lookin’ stylish and pretty since she come back with her
white folks from up North. Wearin’ the swellest clothes. And that
coal-black hair of hers jus’ won’t quit.
MATTIE CLARK.
(In doorway) I don’t see what the mens always hanging after Daisy
Taylor for.
CLARK.
(Turning around on the porch) I God, you back here again. Who’s tendin’
that store? (MATTIE disappears inside.)
DAVE.
Well, she always did look like new money to me when she was here
before.
JIM.
Well, that’s all you ever did get was a look.
DAVE.
That’s all you know! I bet I get more than that now.
JIM.
You might git it but I’m the man to use it. I’m a bottom fish.
DAVE.
Aw, man. You musta been walking round here fast asleep when Daisy was
in this county last. You ain’t seen de go I had with her.
JIM.
No, I ain’t seen it. Bet you didn’t have no letter from her while she
been away.
DAVE.
Bet you didn’t neither.
JIM.
Well, it’s just cause she can’t write. If she knew how to scratch with
a pencil I’d had a ton of ’em.
DAVE.
Shaw, man! I’d had a post office full of ’em.
OLD WOMAN.
You-all ought to be shame, carrying on over a brazen heifer like Daisy
Taylor. Jus’ cause she’s been up North and come back, I reckon you
cutting de fool sho ’nough now. She ain’t studying none of you-all
nohow. All she wants is what you got in your pocket.
JIM.
I likes her but she won’t git nothin’ outa me. She never did. I
wouldn’t give a poor consumpted cripple crab a crutch to cross the
River Jurdon.
DAVE.
I know I ain’t gonna give no woman nothin’. I wouldn’t give a dog a
doughnut if he treed a terrapin.
LIGE.
Youse a cottontail dispute … both of you. You’d give her anything you
got. You’d give her Georgia with a fence ’round it.
OLD MAN.
Yeah, and she’d take it, too.
LINDSAY.
Don’t distriminate the woman like that. That ain’t nothing but hogism.
Ain’t nothin’ the matter with Daisy, she’s all right.
(Enter TEETS and BOOTSIE tittering coyly and switching themselves.)
BOOTSIE.
Is you seen my mama?
OLD WOMAN.
You know you ain’t lookin’ for no mama. Jus’ come back down here to
show your shape and fan around awhile. (BOOTSIE and TEETS going into
the store.)
BOOTSIE & TEETS.
No, we ain’t. We’se come to get our mail.
OLD WOMAN.
(After girls enter store) Why don’t you all keep up some attention to
these nice girls here, Bootsie and Teets. They wants to marry.
DAVE.
Aw, who thinkin’ ’bout marryin’ now? They better stay home and eat
their own pa’s rations. I gotta buy myself some shoes.
JIM.
The woman I’m gonna marry ain’t born yet and her maw is dead.
(GIRLS come out giggling and exit.) (JIM begins to strum his guitar
lightly at first as the talk goes on.)
CLARK.
(To DAVE and JIM) Two of the finest gals that ever lived and friendly
jus’ like you-all is. You two boys better take ’em back and stop them
shiftless ways.
HAMBO.
Yeah, hurry up and do somethin’! I wants to taste a piece yo’ weddin’
cake.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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