So she demands that Russia move out and Russia says ‘Certainly,’ but when moving day came, Russia couldn’t find the moving man. Instead of that, she moved a few thousand soldiers in and hung up a sign, ‘We are here to stay.’ Then Japan began to oil up her musket. ‘If Russia is allowed to do as she pleases out here, she will soon have Japan in the corner pocket,’ she says, ‘and Japan wants at least a little room to roll around in. We don’t propose to have a big man with a gun leaning up against us on the starboard side, so here’s where we get busy.’ So Japan prepares for fight, but Russia doesn’t think she is in earnest. She calls Japan a little pigmy and delays rolling up her sleeve. At that moment Japan inaugurated what Mr. Gus Figgey would call ‘Rough House’ and lands on Russia at Port Arthur with the result that Russia wakes up to find her solar plexus dislocated.” At this point in Captain Fry’s speech there were loud shouts of approval, in the midst of which could be heard the voice of Gus Figgey ringing out in strident tones, “Hot stuff, Cap.” “And now what is a-goin’ to happen?” resumed Captain Fry. “I will tell you. Japan is a-goin’ to land a couple regiments on this what’s-its-name peninsula, destroy the railway, and cut the line of communication to Port Arthur. Then she can plant her siege guns on the hills back of the town and throw in a few hundred ton of grape and canister until the garrison capitulates. Then the Japs can march up through Manchoory, capture the Siberian railway and in six weeks capture St. Petersburg. The Japs already have Sayool down yonder in Corea, and can bombard the Yayloo River when they’re a mind to.” Many of the audience congratulated Captain Fry on his address, and assured him that they now could intelligently follow the news from the war. —J. OSCAR FISHER, in the _Bird Center Argosy_. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ A BIRD CENTER VIEW ON THE RUSSIAN-JAPANESE WAR [Illustration] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ THE GEN. BULLER OF THE ORIENT [Illustration] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ A THRILLING MESSAGE FROM THE EAST [Illustration: THE BATTLE AND THE WAR CORRESPONDENT ] [Illustration: THE WAR CORRESPONDENT AND THE STORY OF THE BATTLE ] [Illustration: THE PRESS CENSOR AND THE STORY OF THE BATTLE ] [Illustration: THE EDITOR AND THE STORY OF THE BATTLE ] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ THE VLADIVOSTOK SQUADRON No. 1.