Winnie pressed her head against the cold pane. Laurence, herself, old
age. She would never be happy. A peaceful vanity took the place of her
unrest. She realized an ethereal quality in herself which coincided
with the whiteness of her little hands. She was aware of her hands,
delicate and precious against her breast. Her breathing tightened. She
did not want to remember the ugliness of the long illness she had had
and to think of the operation which threatened her threw her into a
panic. When people talked too much to her of death she only saw
something ugly which she did not understand. She wanted to get away from
it. She felt that she should not be forced to think of death. It did not
belong to her. If people only loved her and allowed her to be herself
she gave everything.
She turned away from the window and walked back to the mirror.
* * * * *
Alice was the last to reach home for dinner. She closed the front door
briskly after her. Its thud was muffled and at the same time emphasized
by the quiet of the empty street behind it. She whistled as she took off
her hat. The tramp of her feet toward the dining-room was like a man's.
"Hello, Mamma Farley. Hello, Laurie! Glad to see you down, Winnie." She
tweaked Bobby's ear.
"Hello, Aunt Alice!" His voice was thick. Like a small amused Buddha, he
looked at her.
May thought Aunt Alice was not going to notice her, but Aunt Alice
patted the little girl's head. May was terrified and relieved when the
big hand brushed her hair heavily. She smiled at Aunt Alice, but Aunt
Alice did not see her. Then her face grew stupid with perplexity again
and her eyes were like two dark bright empty things; and under her
frilled apron, though she tried to hold her chest in tight, you could
see her heart beat.
Mr. Farley, who had been upstairs, was the last to enter the
dining-room. When Alice saw him her homely rugged face lit with
peremptory condescending affection and she said, "Come and sit by me
this minute, Papa Farley. Your soup is cold. What do you mean by being
so late?"
Mr. Farley was always embarrassed by Alice's officious regard, but he
would not permit himself to become impatient. He was a large handsome
man ten years younger than his wife. His hair was prematurely white.
There were heavy lines at the corners of his mouth and one deep fold
between his brows, but otherwise his face was smooth and fresh. His lips
were compressed continually into a smile. He veiled his disconcerted
rather empty blue eyes under defensively lowered lids. He gave a quick
glance around the brightly lit table.
"Winnie's improving. That's good."
"Yes. You look better," Alice observed to her sister-in-law. Winnie made
a little moue as she met the cheerful but accurate scrutiny of Alice's
eyes. Winnie felt aggrieved by this clearness of gaze. In resenting it
she pitied Alice, who had coarse sallow skin and large hands and feet.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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