She was irritated because he would not forgive her, but she went to him
and laid her head against his coat. A tremor shot through him when she
touched him and she did not know whether she was agitating him in a
manner complimentary to herself or not. But something in her hardened.
He had no right to conceal himself.
"Oh, Laurie!" They were still against each other. She felt him waiting
for her to lift her head. When people married they became one. She was
conscious of feeling cruel, but it seemed to her that she had nothing to
reproach herself with. "I cut myself on my manicure scissors today. You
mustn't be stern with me." He could not help thinking what a common
deceitful-looking little hand she had. He was sorry for her.
"What a tragedy!" His lips rested on the finger an instant without
giving themselves. They quivered a little. An emotion that was
unpleasant and at the same time exhilarating swept through her and
seemed to lift her from her feet. She thought sadly and complacently of
how much she had suffered for him already.
"Where is May?" Laurence asked suddenly. He felt that in kissing
Winnie's finger he had committed himself to some unknown almost sinister
thing. He resented the stupidity of his thought.
"Downstairs, I suppose." When he talked of May, Winnie was glad to leave
him. She felt as if he were lying to her.
Laurence moved toward the door, his gross body large in the darkening
room. Winnie seemed to know each detail of him as he passed into the
dark hall. It was painful to know him so distinctly. She tried in vain
to revive the blurred apperception of him which she had had in earlier
days. She wanted people to see him as she had seen him then. His rocking
walk humiliated her and when visitors were present she tried to inveigle
him into sitting in an armchair where his heavy handsome profile would
be silhouetted against the light, his awkward body at rest.
I don't think it is right for him to show an exaggerated preference for
one child, she told herself. He doesn't love May! He exaggerates his
feeling for her out of pique. Winnie could not forgive him for being
kinder to May than she was.
She found a match. Among the shadows the invisible sun made patches of
bronze light. In the dark the match flared like a long soft wound of
flame. The gas rushed out of the jet with a thick hiss and the flame
spread into a fan. It was a wing covered with yellow down, blue at the
quill. The wind sucked at it soundlessly.
She walked to the window which the gas flame had already made dark. The
sky was green-blue. Bunches of black leaves on the trees in the square
cut the dim fiery horizon into twinkling segments. A telegraph pole rose
up like a finger higher than the houses and appeared to lean heavily
against the quiet beyond. Behind flecks of cloud putrescent stars shone
as through flecks of foam on an enchanted sea.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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