All at once she realized that Laurence had come home for something and
was in the room. He rummaged at his desk. He was subdued in his
movements, trying not to rouse her. She watched him between half-closed
lids. He was familiar to her. The very crooked set of his thick neck in
his broad shoulders was food to her. Hungrily she opened her eyes wider
and lifted herself to her elbow.
"What's the matter, Laurie?" Her whisper, sharp and sweet, pierced the
somber stillness of the room where the shades had been drawn for her to
rest.
"Hello! I came to get a note book. Did I wake you?" He had started at
the sound of his name, but as he faced her he held himself contained in
his sharp cold smile.
"I don't care. I've been having horrid dreams, Laurie."
"That's a silly thing to do."
"Don't make fun of me. Come sit by me a minute."
"I haven't much time, dear." He came and sat on the edge of the couch.
"Don't you want the shades up? It's so gloomy."
"I want you first. See how cold my hands are!"
She gave him her hands. He took them as though he did not know what to
do with them. His eyes were still full of the brightness of the street
and he could not see her plainly.
"I want you to love me. Oh, Laurie, you do love me!" She groped up his
arms, his cheek, until she had found his mouth. She covered it up with
her hand. She did not want it to speak against her. When he tried to
talk she pulled him down until his eyes pressed her breast. She drew him
deeper into the warm covers on the tumbled couch. She was cold. Her
hands said that he must warm her. Memories of pain were silver veins in
her body. Twisting herself on the couch to bring him nearer, she
wrenched her arm, sharp pang of happiness.
"Love me!" she entreated. Her mouth clung against his. She could feel
the force of his quickening heart beats as though they were her own. The
muscles in his arm twitched under the rough-napped cloth of the sleeve
which brushed her cheek. Her nostrils dilated against his arm. The smell
of his body was bitter. She wanted to drink in the vividness of his
strong live flesh that resisted her.
Around the dimmed squares of the yellow shades, light, entering, made
shining borders. Noises drifted in the light under the bright edges of
the yellow shades. Hammering from the house on the corner reverberated
through the room.
"Winnie! I can't--you mustn't. You're not well enough. You mustn't
excite yourself like this!"
She felt him passive in his resistance. Reluctantly her arms slipped
away. Her resentful eyes shone at him from the gloom with a small and
pointed light.
He leaned away from her, patting her hair as he came gradually to his
feet. He did not want to see her because she made him feel guilty toward
himself. Then he was obliged to look. When he smiled at her he kept her
outside his eyes. He seemed relieved in spite of himself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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